Monday, January 7, 2008

My Own Brand of Crazy

My closest friends will tell you that I am, uh, a little moody. My friend Sarah often stares at me in shock to say, "There's something seriously wrong with you, you know that, right?" I go through quiet times and times of manic hilarity, it's my own brand of crazy. Saturday was one of the manic times and I decided to mix it with alcohol. (Wheeeee!) I'm a cheap drunk, a complete lightweight, but I'm a fun drunk and I hate losing control of myself, so I rarely get drunk enough to have hangovers the next day. These are some of the highlights of my night.....

  • I "rescued" my friend Randy from a bar where he was drunk and needed to spend more money to close out his tab. We were able to knock that out with a drink for me and one more beer for him.

  • I drove us to another bar where our friends were waiting. (This was at the beginning of the night, Randy had gotten started without me, and admitted that he hadn't exactly "thought it through".)

  • After another drink, I was dancing next to the table and trying to convince my friend Sarah into joining me. I can't remember what the song was, but it may have been Sinatra.

  • This prompted, not one, but two older men into coming over to talk to me. One was very pleasant and quite drunk but backed off calmly when I politely declined a free drink. The other claimed he came over to "save me" from the first guy. When I walked away to get another drink(the third and last of the night), he apparently told the first man that he was my boyfriend and that I got a little "freaky from time to time". Yeah. These are the wackos I attract. I'm just lucky I guess.

  • Illinois has instituted a new smoking law, so you can't smoke inside at all, which meant we spent a lot of the evening on the patio. (not because of me, I don't smoke)

  • I left my wallet on the patio table and had to go back out to get it. I pulled one of those the door doesn't open but you keep going and smack right into it with your whole body things. I. am. winner. I don't think anyone saw, but I went back to tell my friends all about it, cuz that's how I roll.

  • I stood on the patio and stared in wonder up at a tree in the back.
  • The tree had one of those fake faces on the back of it that looked like it wanted to kiss me, but I was too short to reach. Yes, I would have done it, too, even sober.

Me: What are those trees called? the ones with the white bark?

Dan: A birch tree?

Me: Yeah, birch. This is the biggest fucking birch tree I've ever seen. Look at it! It's fucking huge!

Dan: Uh sure?

He turns to Sarah: She's in one of her moods, isn't she? (See, I told you!)

Good times, good times.


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