Under the Arch

What can I say? I fell in love with that face…

First, I would like to say if you've sent me an email or other such internet based message and I haven't responded, I apologize. I can't remember the last time I checked my email and I haven't been on twitter in weeks. I've hit a point where my real life is more interesting than my internet one, and I've spent all my spare time playing with friends and enjoying the sunshine when it graces me with its presence.

Because of this, I won't be going to BlogHer this year, even though it's only a few hours away. I will probably go to Chicago this summer (IKEA is calling my name) and my friend Will and I are tentatively planning a road trip to California at some point, where he has promised to teach me how to surf.

I had jury duty last week, but I'm all talked out about it, so I won't say anything more than it sucks ass, and if I ever get it again, it better be a civil case this time. (Oh, and if you were as dismayed as I was to find out that knitting needles aren't allowed, I found that no one says anything if they're plastic.)

I had to finally get mean with the jealous ex-boyfriend. A couple of days ago, he essentially said that he thought something would happen between us further down the line. I as bluntly as possible told him that wasn't going to happen. He didn't take it well and spouted the bullshit that guys say when their pride is wounded. I'm beginning to realize that this is a typical reaction and after I stopped laughing, I was just relieved that it was over and I don't have to placate him anymore. (Lies said to hurt or undermine someone's confidence piss me off like you wouldn't believe.) I decided to be the better person and not tell him what I really think. ;)

I also forgot to tell you that I'm moving, which is something else that has kept me busy. My friend Will lives on the next street over and his building is cheaper than mine, so he talked me into moving into the apartment above him. No more ghetto neighbors with a crying baby below me using my washing machine! It's actually a slightly bigger apartment with a different set-up, which will work well with my furniture. We already have big plans to build raised garden beds in the backyard for flowers and veggies. I spent most of the day today sorting and packing, I should be in the new digs by the end of April.

You probably noticed that I haven't posted any photos for a long time. It's not that I don't have photos to share, it's just that my computer won't let me show them. Trying to work with photos, even uploading them slows my laptop down so much I can't do anything. So, I'm computer shopping with my tax refund and I'm hoping to remedy that soon. ;)

I am a puzzle solver. I want to know the answers and I can wait, but I prefer right now, please. I keep word finds in my purse and in various places in my apartment for those times when a quiet moment would bring your mind around to the things that you'd rather not think about right now, thanks. (By the way, is anyone else bothered by finding words in a word find that aren't on the list? Do they do that on purpose just to make my head explode? No one else finds this bothersome? Really?)

I am the go-to girl for advice at work with everything from how to tell if a boy likes you (remember, I work in retail, half of these girls are practically babies) to what to do if you are making out with a guy and he starts masturbating in front of you. (I swear, this was a real concern. I told her my first thought would be awesome, now I don't have to do it.) Half of the time, I wonder why anyone would possibly want me to tell them what to do and the other half I figure it's my lot in life and maybe I should just surrender and do it for a living. (Anyone want to pay me to give them advice? MY life is sort of a mess, but I can fix yours. lol) I am never happier than with a problem to solve, preferably someone ELSE'S problem.

Meanwhile, there's this guy that sort of popped back into my life, and I have no idea what to do with him. I don't know why, but he sort of intimidates me, which makes me the quiet standoffish version of myself. I can't even explain to you how annoying I find that. I can't seem to stop myself, though. I'm mysterious girl around him, and I'm beginning to think that he reacts by being equally mysterious. Which, of course, is even more annoying. lol Oy, here's hoping that I can figure him out soon and stop turning the problem of him around and around in my head. I'm a puzzle solver, you know I can't stand it to have a problem I can't solve. ;)

• I went to Novaks again last night. I tried to explain to Will about how a lesbian bar and say a bar on the landing are a completely difference experience for a girl and so next week we are going to attempt a little social experiment to prove my point.;)

• The weather has been amazing the last few days and I'm sorry to see it go again, I can't wait for spring to truly get here.

• I'm finding myself more and more annoyed by the ex-boyfriend, though I'm trying really hard to bite my tongue so I don't ruin him even more for the next girl. I'm afraid that anything I say at this point would just be mean rather than helpful.

• I'm being promoted at work, but I'm not supposed to know and have to act surprised when it happens. ;) The new position is full time, more creative and should give me most weekends off. Keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes according to plan.

• I went to a craft fair today and bought a pair of earrings from a glass artist. She was explaining to me the process and I think I can make them myself, so I'll have to dig my supplies out of the basement soon and give it a try.

• Though something else is going on, I've written and deleted several sentences to say that I have no idea what that something is or if it is a something at all and rather than be upset, I'm mostly amused and curious to see what happens next. How's that for cryptic?

In the same night we found a doctorate of bats, Will and I also met a man we called "mysterious man" who was flitting about the bar, wearing a fabulous hat. We did eventually pin him down to ask about the hat and talked for a while about hats and Frank Sinatra. He invited us to another bar this week for karaoke. I love making new friends.

Some of the night is rather fuzzy, but I remember taking off my shoes several times, and I think I may have asked Will to hold them for me, poor man. On or off, they got many compliments. Here they are, on one of my favorite sites for shoes.

I met a volleyball player from New Jersey, with the accent and all. He was also an excellent dancer. He insisted that I MUST see New York, which then , of course turned into me giggling over Will and I living in New York ala "Will and Grace". This is the ridiculous stuff that pops into my head, people.

Anyway, a great time was had by all and I'm looking forward to many more nights dancing my ass off there.

Other things I've been up to...knitting. I'm in the middle of 3 projects, cuz it's next to impossible for me to just work on one at a time....a sleeveless shell, a hat, and arm warmers.

I watched last week's LOST on saturday (I know, I know, I was busy) and HELLO this season is screwed up! Ben kills Locke and makes it look like a suicide?! And then Locke comes back to life?! Then the other plane crashes on the island?! WHA?! Can't wait to see what happens next....

So, it's been an interesting week. I was contacted by an old friend out of the blue early last week. (friend? man that I briefly dated? friend? not really sure on that one)   He was the first match.com date that I, you know, dated, so I was hardly surprised that he just wanted to be friends after 3 weeks. What a difference a few months make, I had no idea what I was doing and I'm sure I confused the crap out of the poor guy, I was impossible to read. He wants to hang out again, which is nice, since he lives within walking distance. The timing is fortunate, spending time with him wouldn't have been possible even a week ago due to the ex-boyfriend's jealousy issues.

I was up for something Wednesday night, but he was studying for his boards, so I called my friend Johnna to see if she wanted to go to the bar. She did, of course, and we drowned our mutual annoyance with the men in our lives in cherry bombs, tequila sunrises, and laughter. I woke up the next morning feeling more positive about the state of the world, but not the state of my head. So, Thursday was hangover day, and other than a trip outside to have lunch at a little place called Biggies which oh my god, has an excellent burger, I spent most of the day in bed.

Friday, I was sure that I was going to stay home...but then my new friend Will called to ask me if I wanted to go dancing. And I have a weakness for dancing. We went to Novaks, which is one of the bars on Manchester in south city and danced our little hearts out.

Will and I have this running joke about doctors and how the only way I'll ever be able to afford these Chanel shoes we both covet will be by sleeping with a rich man who will buy me presents. Now, this is a JOKE, mind you, I would never sleep with someone in order to coerce expensive shoes from them. That would, of course, be wrong. Ahem.

Aaaanyway, we were trying to pick out a doctor in the crowd, and one guy in particular was eying me and attempting to work up the courage to come over and talk to me when Will got in his head that this guy must be a doctor. I said there was no possible way that a doctor would come to a bar trolling for women dressed like that. We bet a shot on it and I...went to the dance floor, but I can't remember why at the moment. The tequila insisted that I shake my ass, I guess. Will found me a couple of minutes later triumphant.

"He's a doctor! I TOLD you!"

"What the hell is he a doctor of, exactly?"

"Bats!"

"That doesn't count! Has to be a MEDICAL doctor! No shot for you!"

Poor guy, he must have been so confused.

I'm going to leave you with this much of my weekend cuz I'm going to bed now, but there's more to come....

Here's how it all happened....

First, came the jury duty summons in the mail. That's. just. fabulous. I've never had jury duty before and all I could think about was the weird fruit guy from the episode of Sex and the City when Carrie had jury duty and sat in the courthouse all day waiting for something to happen. So the good news is I would get some knitting done, right? Except on the list of prohibited items next to guns, knives, and chemical weapons is...you know, knitting needles. I'm sorry, what?! The FAA allows knitting needles onto airplanes, but I can't knit at the courthouse, makes perfect sense.

I made a new friend at work. He loves fashion and knows way more about it than I do. We crack each other up and make Mean Girl comments about customers together. His dream car is a Jeep Wrangler. When I found this out I insisted we must have been separated at birth. He's the perfect guy friend, fun, sarcastic and gay. Oh, and he lives less than a block away and has a doctor friend that he thinks I might like. ;) We have plans to drink wine and paint my apartment now that I've finally decided on colors.

Okay, the left boob thing....I started taking birth control since I had a real live boyfriend again. It had been a year since I was taking the bc and it sort of screws with my system the first month. PMS has been FUN!! In a surge of hormones, my boob swelled, which ok isn't that unusual but the fact that only ONE of them did, is. Oy.

The hours available at work have been sort of ridiculous, so I told my manager that I would need a full time position at the new store or at my current one, or I'm going on a job hunt. Since I'm awesome, she agreed that I deserve the opportunity, and she's going to talk to the district manager. Go me for being proactive!

I know, I know enough about all this trivial shit, what about the boyfriend?! Well, poor boyfriend, it was a case of nice guy that you really wanted to see a future with, but just didn't. Frankly, he was too nice for me. I'm a nice person, and an excellent friend, but as you may have noticed here, I'm also sarcastic and I have a bit of a temper. Plus, he had been kind of recently divorced from a woman who cheated. I think he TRIED not to be a jealous guy, but he just couldn't help it and I don't have the sort of patience to constantly reassure someone going through that. So, to make a long story short, it had to end and I had to end it. Have I told you how much I hate confrontation? Let's just say a lot. That wasn't fun. I am now on hiatus. I'm going to go out with friends, dance, sing, paint my apartment, and celebrate my birthday, then I'll think about men again. That is the plan.

So, what have you been up to?

I have lots of things to share, including but not limited to:

making a new friend

my crazy left boob

my decision to get a new job

being summoned for jury duty




oh

and breaking up with my boyfriend.

It's been an interesting week. ;)

Whether it's your crazy ex-boyfriend, his crazy ex-girlfriend, or the toxic ex-friend who just won't leave you alone, I think it's safe to say that we all have people in our lives we would like to forget, or at least we wish they would forget US.

For instance, I once dated a guy, we were introduced by a mutual friend. He was a social butterfly and I was tired of staying at home all the time. He was exactly what I needed then, but being the life of the party got old after a while and, well, there was this, so I broke it off as kindly as I knew how. He pretended to take it well and then called me twice a week, leaving messages on my machine, wanting me to give him another chance. He continued this for 3 months. Just so you know, this is NOT the way to endear yourself to a girl. He recently sent me an email through match.com asking me how I was doing. Needless to say, I didn't respond.

I'm now having a problem with a more recent ex. We've been broken up for 2 years now, but he had a bad habit of popping back into my life when.....who knows really. He was lonely? His girlfriend was being annoying? It never amounted to anything, for the things that broke us up in the first place didn't exactly fix themselves and he had a charming way of digging himself in an even deeper hole(exhibit A) I finally realized that in order to remove him from my life, I would have to tell him not to contact me again. So I did. In fact, I asked him not to read my blog or myspace page anymore, either. He agreed, vehemently.

I thought it was over. And it was, for me. And then, an IP address started popping up regularly in my stat counter. You see, I get readers from all over the world, but rarely do I get readers from the metro east. So, when one number shows up regularly, I'm bound to get a little curious. The IP popped up more and more often and I got really nosy. Imagine my surprise when I realized where it originated. Denny's, my ex's favorite hangout. Sadly, I could clearly picture it. Sitting in a booth, drinking coffee and looking at my Naked Monday posts when his girlfriend had already gone home for the night. It's what he did for months at a time while we were broken up, though using the wifi at Denny's is new.

I lost my temper at first. The idea that he was still hanging on to this little piece of me after all the mean and awful things he said was a bit more than I could take. I've calmed down a bit and this is my solution. After all, if you can't call out an ex-boyfriend for thinking he's outsmarted you, what else is a blog good for?

Now, on to a funnier story. Well, funny for me anyway. My friend, we'll call her Sarah, since that's her name, has a habit of dating guys with crazy exs. One such time, she stayed over at her new guy's house and the next morning, while they were still sleeping, his ex-fiance burst into the house, mother in tow, screaming and cursing, calling Sarah any number of foul names, all while a lit cigarette dangled dangerously from her lip. If that wasn't enough of a picture for you, the ex-fiance then ripped the comforter off the bed where Sarah and her guy were still lying in shock and embarrassment. I'm pretty sure she is still traumatized to this day, wouldn't you be?

So, I have an assignment for you....tell me your most embarrassing crazy ex story, leave it in the comments, or link to your own blog post. Mine are kind of pathetic and my friend needs to read about something worse than her experience. Help me out?

Erica, please stop humping the ladder, you're freaking me out!

You realize, of course, from now on you'll be known as the rug doctor.

Seriously, Erica, stop humping things!

Are you drunk?

We can't take her to the club, look at her!! A couple of drinks, she'll be taking her clothes off.

That's no big deal, hell, if I get drunk enough I do too. I'm all "Look at my penis!!"

I'm all right, I'm just over here plotting the easiest way to kill myself, no biggie.

Jason from The Jason Show asked last week if anyone would like to be interviewed and started a 5 question chain of silliness! Follow the directions below to join in!

1. What do you like the most and the least about living in St. Louis?

My favorite thing about living in this city is the freedom I feel to express myself. I can wear just about anything and no one blinks an eye. Coming from a small town in the bible belt, I appreciate this!

The worst thing about living here, in this region really, is the weather. We get both extreme cold and heat and the weather changes on a dime, in the 50's one day, 20's the next, you never really know what's going to happen next.

2. Would you rather streak naked through your neighborhood at noon or accidentally throw up on the queen of England?

I hate to throw up. HATE it. And I don't really have too much trouble with nudity, so streaking through my neighborhood at noon is really a no brainer. ;) With a little friendly supervision for safety, I'd do it.

3. If you could be any famous person, who would you be and why?

I don't know that I would want to be famous. I think it would be interesting to be a touring singer for a day, can we do that? ;) Otherwise, I prefer my anonymous existence, thanks.

4. What would you do if you had a billion dollars?

I would have to assume that I won a billion dollars, since the chances of me earning that amount of money is....not good. The biggest thing would be travel, after paying off all my debt and that of my family I would travel, travel, travel. I think I would donate a ton to charity and maybe create some sort of foundation to provide scholarships for education students. WE NEED MORE TEACHERS WITH PASSION!! After that, who knows!

5. If you had to choose between cuddling with an eel or a cuddling with a piranha, which would you choose?

Oh please, neither!! The thought of getting close to either one gives me the shudders!! (To prove that I'm not a complete ninny, I have no problem with mice or bats!)

Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will get to ask them five questions.

You may have noticed my lack of writing lately. I have some serious writer's block, it's just as annoying for me as it is for you. Since I can't seem to write in a narrative way, I'm just going to do a stream of consciousness thing today and we're all just going to have to deal. Hopefully soon, I'll figure out how to write while twitterpated.

The thing is, I'm like any other girl in the beginning of a relationship. All I want to talk about is the relationship. And no one wants to hear about how sweet he is or how much fun I'm having. Frankly, all the sighing and grinning at nothing is making ME want to throw up. I'm really overwhelmed, because this last match.com match-up has moved along rather fast in the emotion department. It makes me nervous, but I'm not shutting down or wanting to run so I'm looking at this as personal growth no matter how the relationship turns out.

I went with my friend Jessica to see a show at the Pageant last week and had a great time, but I've discovered that I am not meant for mosh pits. The show was a guy, a DJ, I guess who called himself Girl Talk, which was a giant dance party of sorts. My friend wanted to get up on stage to dance, unfortunately, so did every other underage idiot in the place. (My friend is not an idiot, she's a brilliant writer who asked me the other day if she could write a book about me one day. Why she would want to write a book about me is beyond my comprehension, but I'm sure if she wrote it, it would be amazing.) Anyway, the floor near the stage suddenly resembled a cattle chute and it was all I could do to keep upright. Madness ensued and I was seriously pissed off, elbowing anyone who dared to shove me and pulling a girl out from under the trampling herd when she reached down by my feet to get her cell phone. Other than a wrenched knee, I was fine, but I've discovered I'm too old for that sort of insanity and I'll go back to the sort of concerts I usually enjoy, which are generally more adult. After it calmed down a little and the crowd realized that security wouldn't allow anymore people on the stage, we had a little room to maneuver and Jess and I danced until I couldn't breathe, occasionally shaking my head at the combination of music. (He mixed Kelly Clarkson and Nine Inch Nails together, then Journey and Lil Wayne, or vice-versa, I can't remember now. Reading this, you would think it was awful, but it wasn't.)

The new guy, S, took me to dinner and a movie Friday night, we went to see Clint Eastwood's new movie, Gran Torino. It was really good. Sunday was spent at his place watching football. (I know, I actually watched football on tv, on purpose. Granted, I had a Glamour magazine in my lap, but still, football.) And I had fun. We ate pizza and watched football and I had a great time. Twitterpated. It's the only explanation.

Oh, and the new camera is a Nikon D40. Photos coming soon, I promise.

I ran into my friend Jessica tonight, which is why it's midnight and I'm just now baking my desserts to take to Thanksgiving dinner. We spent a ridiculous amount of time talking at Noodles and catching up on what had been happening in each others' lives.

She's been dating too and I wish I wrote down how she phrased her relationship status, cuz it had something to do with Facebook. She did say that Facebook was going to be her downfall. (Sound familiar, MP? ;>)

At one point, we were comparing the size of our clothing collections....

Me: Did I tell you about the time when I did a bunch of laundry and had to buy more hangers? I didn't even FINISH my laundry.

Her: You win.

Me: Is it bad that the idea of getting serious with someone means that I'll have to share a closet?

Her: What if he complains about how many pairs of shoes I have?

Me: It's like my worst nightmare!

Her: We are so sad.

Me: Yeah. Probably.


(I hope I don't have to explain that we were joking. Mostly.)

So, yeah, I've been sucking with the whole blogging thing lately all around. Blogger girl has been asleep at the wheel. It's a combination of things, really. I started working days at my job, which unlike some of your places of employment, does not have internet access. And I went WAAAAY over on my text message allotment last month, so I had to stop getting twitter updates sent to my phone, which makes me feel woefully out of touch. ;(

The time change has confused the crap out of me, too. I find myself thinking it's time for bed until I glance at a clock and see that it's barely 8 o'clock! I've been too busy to get in a funk about it, but I'm sleepier than normal, which I've decided to blame on the sun rather than laziness. lol

Naked Mondays are much harder while dating, I've found. I can't seem to find the right words to say what I'm trying to say while only exposing myself and no one else. How does Carrie do it? (Yes, I know, fictional character, but come on, use your imagination here.)

It's been brought to my attention recently and not so recently that I seem mysterious to guys. On one hand, this always takes me by surprise. On the other hand, I see what they're saying, I'm just not sure what to do about it. For most of my life, I haven't made friends very easily. If a job or a class ended, there were people I spoke with everyday that I never saw again. I've had friends for different phases of my life, friends for boyfriends, friends that seemed to be tied to a location, but I've rarely had more than one or two close friends at a time, friends who knew me all the way down to my toes, you know? I didn't let people get close enough, why, I'm not sure.  Maybe it's residual shyness or just a learned defense mechanism, but that part is hardly new.

I decided to text an ex-boyfriend today to see if I could get to the root of the problem. He didn't remember my 18 year old self being very mysterious, but then he admitted that his 18 year old self was kind of oblivious. (Basically, he was no help. ;>) The ex is probably right in that my 18 year old self hadn't acquired this skill, but my 31 year old self is a master at it. Moral of the story? Dating is hard. ;>

Apparently, this is a more recent thing, but somehow I doubt it's just me. Don't we all hold parts of ourselves back for protection?

What do you think? How much of yourself do you hold apart from others? How would a mysterious person become less mysterious?

It's so funny to me to say that phrase. All the silly adolescent fantasies of the rock and roll boyfriend that now make me roll my eyes with embarrassment. It's ridiculous the things we think are cool way back when. Now, when I actually get to say it out loud, I felt like an idiot. ;) I was sitting on a barstool and a guy asked me what I was doing there, alone in a bar and out it came. "I'm with the band." Inside my head, I'm giggling as I explain to total strangers why that is so funny to me. Then, of course, I'm trying to quietly and unobtrusively listen to the music, when the band raises their glasses to toast my Saturday off work. As the room's eyes switch to me (ok, so maybe it only felt like it) I'm sure my face turned ten shades of red. (Thanks guys!) As I listened to music and sipped my spiked cider, I was also wishing I had an ink pen, for I was once again itching to record my surroundings here, in this place. ;)

There was the couple to my right, who lived next door and were shocked to see a man taking photos of two very naked women in another apartment across the street. Apparently, they stumbled onto porn production in our fair city. If that wasn't enough, a guy at the table to my left was shouting about republicans in strip clubs. (Nope. No idea what that was about.)

I dedicated my Saturday to being as lazy as humanly possible with T. (The guy with the cute dog now has a letter, he's moving up in the world. lol) We watched TV and cooked dinner and....that's pretty much it. I succeeded at my goal. ;) Oh, I did finish a new hat that I was knitting, so, you know, there's that. lol

Sunday, I spent chasing down a pair of shoes I wanted and making the changes you can see here. I'm still working out the bugs and fitting in all the bits of things I had before, bear with me, even starting with a ready made template I still made changes that I had to figure out as I went. Which means, I was working on it all afternoon and evening and I'm still not satisfied. There's an "about me" that's new and I updated the Naked Monday page to include all the posts.

Ok, that's all for now, I have work in the morning and should already be in bed. ;)

Why yes, I did fail spectacularly at NaBloPoMo this year, thank you for asking. :)
Let's just say I haven't been home much and when I am, I haven't felt like writing. I've been cooking a lot, made a turkey pie, a pumpkin cheesecake, and my cheesy enchiladas. The grocery delivery was a rousing success, I recommend it for all the lazy out there who hate grocery shopping. They even offered to carry it up the stairs to my apartment for me, but with my curious cat, I didn't think it was a good idea. The website saves my list, so I can add things as I think of them and make an order when I have enough to make the fee worth it. Enough talking about food, I'm getting hungry. Thanks for caring enough to give me shit about it you guys, love you too. ;)

Like I said before, I was invited to a costume house party by a couple that I knew vaguely from the bar I visit occasionally. I wasn't sure that there would be anyone there that I knew at the party other than the hosts, nor did I know how big the party would be. (Would I be standing around trying to look comfortable with the fact that no one was talking to me? These are the things that I think about.) I had another engagement later that I didn't want to show up too early for, because I was, again, going alone. (Timing is everything, people! lol) Everything worked out in the end, I called just before leaving my apartment to get directions, (right down the street! Score!) the party ended up being smaller than I expected and filled with interesting people to chat with, though at one point, I thought about telling one guy that just because I expressed interest in his costume did not mean that I was flirting with him. (It's just friendly conversation dude! Chill!) But, all in all, I had a great time and I was actually bummed to leave. I made my goodbyes and thank yous and headed downtown for my next stop...which I've run out of time to write about. ;)

to be continued and stuff

I almost hesitate to write this, but it's funny, sooo I was talking on the phone with my friend, Sarah and we were just chatting about normal stuff, work, my date the night before when suddenly she said:

"I can hear you smiling. Did you do something slutty?"

"Um. Yes."

"Yay, you! You totally deserve it."

And then I died. You can die from blushing, right? 

You know I don't get political here, I save that for comments and support for others braver than I, but I have to say something about this 'cause I'm hormonal and in tears over Prop 8 in California. My blogging friend, Jason, recently got married to his husband after being together for 14 years. Their happiness was short-lived, however, because of this ridiculous attempt to overturn the rights of same sex couples to get married. If you live in California, and I know that I have a few regular readers there, please, please, please vote NO on Prop 8! Don't let the religious nutjobs win. Ok, rant over, thank you. ;)

The Queen of Spain says it more eloquently than I do. :)

Look, it's Funny Photo Friday again! Join in the fun! Click on the button below and link to your post....