Under the Arch

Here's how it all happened....

First, came the jury duty summons in the mail. That's. just. fabulous. I've never had jury duty before and all I could think about was the weird fruit guy from the episode of Sex and the City when Carrie had jury duty and sat in the courthouse all day waiting for something to happen. So the good news is I would get some knitting done, right? Except on the list of prohibited items next to guns, knives, and chemical weapons is...you know, knitting needles. I'm sorry, what?! The FAA allows knitting needles onto airplanes, but I can't knit at the courthouse, makes perfect sense.

I made a new friend at work. He loves fashion and knows way more about it than I do. We crack each other up and make Mean Girl comments about customers together. His dream car is a Jeep Wrangler. When I found this out I insisted we must have been separated at birth. He's the perfect guy friend, fun, sarcastic and gay. Oh, and he lives less than a block away and has a doctor friend that he thinks I might like. ;) We have plans to drink wine and paint my apartment now that I've finally decided on colors.

Okay, the left boob thing....I started taking birth control since I had a real live boyfriend again. It had been a year since I was taking the bc and it sort of screws with my system the first month. PMS has been FUN!! In a surge of hormones, my boob swelled, which ok isn't that unusual but the fact that only ONE of them did, is. Oy.

The hours available at work have been sort of ridiculous, so I told my manager that I would need a full time position at the new store or at my current one, or I'm going on a job hunt. Since I'm awesome, she agreed that I deserve the opportunity, and she's going to talk to the district manager. Go me for being proactive!

I know, I know enough about all this trivial shit, what about the boyfriend?! Well, poor boyfriend, it was a case of nice guy that you really wanted to see a future with, but just didn't. Frankly, he was too nice for me. I'm a nice person, and an excellent friend, but as you may have noticed here, I'm also sarcastic and I have a bit of a temper. Plus, he had been kind of recently divorced from a woman who cheated. I think he TRIED not to be a jealous guy, but he just couldn't help it and I don't have the sort of patience to constantly reassure someone going through that. So, to make a long story short, it had to end and I had to end it. Have I told you how much I hate confrontation? Let's just say a lot. That wasn't fun. I am now on hiatus. I'm going to go out with friends, dance, sing, paint my apartment, and celebrate my birthday, then I'll think about men again. That is the plan.

So, what have you been up to?

Whether it's your crazy ex-boyfriend, his crazy ex-girlfriend, or the toxic ex-friend who just won't leave you alone, I think it's safe to say that we all have people in our lives we would like to forget, or at least we wish they would forget US.

For instance, I once dated a guy, we were introduced by a mutual friend. He was a social butterfly and I was tired of staying at home all the time. He was exactly what I needed then, but being the life of the party got old after a while and, well, there was this, so I broke it off as kindly as I knew how. He pretended to take it well and then called me twice a week, leaving messages on my machine, wanting me to give him another chance. He continued this for 3 months. Just so you know, this is NOT the way to endear yourself to a girl. He recently sent me an email through match.com asking me how I was doing. Needless to say, I didn't respond.

I'm now having a problem with a more recent ex. We've been broken up for 2 years now, but he had a bad habit of popping back into my life when.....who knows really. He was lonely? His girlfriend was being annoying? It never amounted to anything, for the things that broke us up in the first place didn't exactly fix themselves and he had a charming way of digging himself in an even deeper hole(exhibit A) I finally realized that in order to remove him from my life, I would have to tell him not to contact me again. So I did. In fact, I asked him not to read my blog or myspace page anymore, either. He agreed, vehemently.

I thought it was over. And it was, for me. And then, an IP address started popping up regularly in my stat counter. You see, I get readers from all over the world, but rarely do I get readers from the metro east. So, when one number shows up regularly, I'm bound to get a little curious. The IP popped up more and more often and I got really nosy. Imagine my surprise when I realized where it originated. Denny's, my ex's favorite hangout. Sadly, I could clearly picture it. Sitting in a booth, drinking coffee and looking at my Naked Monday posts when his girlfriend had already gone home for the night. It's what he did for months at a time while we were broken up, though using the wifi at Denny's is new.

I lost my temper at first. The idea that he was still hanging on to this little piece of me after all the mean and awful things he said was a bit more than I could take. I've calmed down a bit and this is my solution. After all, if you can't call out an ex-boyfriend for thinking he's outsmarted you, what else is a blog good for?

Now, on to a funnier story. Well, funny for me anyway. My friend, we'll call her Sarah, since that's her name, has a habit of dating guys with crazy exs. One such time, she stayed over at her new guy's house and the next morning, while they were still sleeping, his ex-fiance burst into the house, mother in tow, screaming and cursing, calling Sarah any number of foul names, all while a lit cigarette dangled dangerously from her lip. If that wasn't enough of a picture for you, the ex-fiance then ripped the comforter off the bed where Sarah and her guy were still lying in shock and embarrassment. I'm pretty sure she is still traumatized to this day, wouldn't you be?

So, I have an assignment for you....tell me your most embarrassing crazy ex story, leave it in the comments, or link to your own blog post. Mine are kind of pathetic and my friend needs to read about something worse than her experience. Help me out?

Jason from The Jason Show asked last week if anyone would like to be interviewed and started a 5 question chain of silliness! Follow the directions below to join in!

1. What do you like the most and the least about living in St. Louis?

My favorite thing about living in this city is the freedom I feel to express myself. I can wear just about anything and no one blinks an eye. Coming from a small town in the bible belt, I appreciate this!

The worst thing about living here, in this region really, is the weather. We get both extreme cold and heat and the weather changes on a dime, in the 50's one day, 20's the next, you never really know what's going to happen next.

2. Would you rather streak naked through your neighborhood at noon or accidentally throw up on the queen of England?

I hate to throw up. HATE it. And I don't really have too much trouble with nudity, so streaking through my neighborhood at noon is really a no brainer. ;) With a little friendly supervision for safety, I'd do it.

3. If you could be any famous person, who would you be and why?

I don't know that I would want to be famous. I think it would be interesting to be a touring singer for a day, can we do that? ;) Otherwise, I prefer my anonymous existence, thanks.

4. What would you do if you had a billion dollars?

I would have to assume that I won a billion dollars, since the chances of me earning that amount of money is....not good. The biggest thing would be travel, after paying off all my debt and that of my family I would travel, travel, travel. I think I would donate a ton to charity and maybe create some sort of foundation to provide scholarships for education students. WE NEED MORE TEACHERS WITH PASSION!! After that, who knows!

5. If you had to choose between cuddling with an eel or a cuddling with a piranha, which would you choose?

Oh please, neither!! The thought of getting close to either one gives me the shudders!! (To prove that I'm not a complete ninny, I have no problem with mice or bats!)

Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will get to ask them five questions.

Guess who got a new camera for Christmas? Guess who hasn't completely figured out how to use it?

As far as New Years goes, I don't really do resolutions. (I think last year I called them self-delusions, though I did manage to follow through on a couple.) I do have the new camera that needs to be broken in and Moosh in Indy mentioned a 365 project she will be participating in, so I thought I'd give that a try.

I do have some ideas for things I'd like to try this year, but I think I'm going to keep those secret a bit longer til I figure out if I can. ;)

I did volunteer to write about my online dating experience and to round that out a bit, I'd love to hear stories from others, blogger or not, especially guys. Email me, k?

Yes, I did start dating someone new since Christmas and we are getting along swimmingly. My head is sort of spinning actually and I'm not sure whether to be thrilled or terrified. ;) (He's not a blog reader, isn't that nice? lol)

Until, I can get the photos I've already taken uploaded, here are a few posts from last year that I especially liked.

My resolution to keep knitting is off to a roaring start

Making fun of my brother

Enjoying the weather

Where I first talk about my issues with food

Taking a walk in the park

One of my more popular Naked Monday posts that was discussed over drinks

Bossy's visit

The first time I was mistaken for a hooker

Meeting a Cardinal's baseball player

My cat goes crazy

The post with the most hits (it's the bikini post, are you surprised?)

The ones about my car accident

The BlogHer posts, plus the hostel and my first troll

Exposing my messy side

Blogging while online dating can be hard

A couple of weeks ago, I was perusing a set of photos on a friend's myspace page and talking on the phone at the same time. The photos were from the night I went bowling with friends, and one of the girls caught me from the side in mid-hurl. (I suck at bowling. I pretty much suck at all sports. They always picked me last and I didn't blame them. Beside the point.)

Me: "Oh my god, is that what I look like?!"

Her: "What?"

Me: "Are my legs really that small? That's what I look like?"

Her: "It's about damn time you noticed!"

I was talking to an Aunt at my recent family reunion and she asked how I got so thin and I told her the truth, that I've had a lot of stress in my life recently and I've been forgetting to eat. "Well, that doesn't sound like something I could do."

"No, I wouldn't recommend it, really."

I put my body type on my match.com profile as about average even though a more accurate description would be slender or too fucking skinny because I still see myself as the self I was 20 pounds ago and even occasionally get startled by a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

When I saw that photo, though, I knew I had to do something.

Me: "I'm going to gain 15 pounds."

Her: "Thank God, you were starting to freak me out."

And this is the part where I want to throw my arms over my head and ask people not to throw anything at my head. I feel bad saying I need to gain weight, like I've broken some sort of sacred woman code, like I should be happy to watch my boobs shrink and my hipbones stick further out. After all, if the fashion magazines that I like to read are to be believed, I've reached some sort of pinnacle of weight to height ratio. That's ridiculous. I learned very young that thin does not equal happy. At this point in my life, I'm just working on maintaining my weight because if I have to buy one more fracking pair of jeans, I'm going to completely lose my shit. ;) This is how my body reacts to stress, which isn't the worst thing, I guess, but it sure is a pain in the ass.

I'm 5' 8" and weigh as of a few minutes ago 125, 5 pounds from my goal. How's that for Naked? ;)

 

 

BlogHer asked me to write about Tinker Bell for a promotion they are doing and since I'm a big fan, I happily agreed. You can find my story about looking for fairies in my mother's garden over here.

I still like the kitchen idea and was going to write about it this week, but something sort of fell into my lap.

You may remember that I talked about deciding to date again when I got back from San Francisco. Well, one night when I was sitting in front of the computer unable to sleep, I decided to be a little more proactive than asking my work friends if they have any available brothers and signed up for Match.com. And then, of course my browser froze halfway through writing my profile. Ugh! Talking about myself! So hard!! Wait.. ;)

Sooo, I forgot about it for awhile and then I went out with my friend J Saturday night to a local bar and whew! The pickins' they are slim!! Ok, there was one cute guy but then when I was walking out to my car he said something really inappropriate about a part of my anatomy that I won't be repeating here. And, really, it's not like I'm that picky, attraction and some mutual interests, that's it. I'm not a high maintenance kind of girl and I don't like the high maintenance Abercrombie sort of guy. So, yeah, I was sort of disappointed in my options. And I decided to give Match a real try, thinking, frankly, that little would come of it. I finished the profile and uploaded a picture before going to bed last night.

And then when I logged on to Hotmail today, I had 4 emails. Wha? Then, of course, I panic, because Ahhh! what am I supposed to do with THIS!? A couple of guys I found interesting and emailed them back, now we just wait to see what happens. Fascinating, isn't it? ;)

My biggest problem is I'm not sure what the etiquette is here, do you email back everyone who contacts you, or just the ones you are interested in from looking at their profile? And then, how do you choose which profiles to be interested in? I mean, I'm the girl who dated the guy who didn't know he was gay and who's last boyfriend wanted to get married then panicked and is now dating a 22 year old because there's no future in it!! I really know how to pick em, is what I'm saying. ;) (hmm, may have forgotten to tell you about that one)

I did put on the profile that I write on the internet, though not where, but, really, if they're interested I won't be hard to find. I did want them to know that up front, because though I won't be talking any specifics here, I'm sure there will be plenty of blog fodder to be had and I wouldn't want anyone to be blindsided if I mention our date. ;) I'm sure there will be plenty to talk about cuz dating is a crap shoot, and sure to be humorous where I'm concerned. Stay tuned to watch the drama unfold!! lol

 

A couple of small things before I wrap this up...my other best friend, Sarah, got a big promotion tonight, I just wanted to congratulate her....and please join me this weekend here, the St. Louis Interactive Conference. The St. Louis Bloggers Guild put this together and I'm really excited. If you are a St. Louis blogger or just a local music lover, please come. It's $15 for the whole event and should be tons of fun!

I skipped Naked Mondays last week and I'm sitting here in front of my computer and. I've. got. NOTHIN'!! Please Halp!! Suggestions are appreciated, nothing dirty of course, just you know, naked figuratively. Read the past posts and leave a suggestion in the comments. And YOU! Yes, you, the lurkers! Feel free to chime in here!! Help a girl get Naked, people!! ;)

 

I hate Facebook. As social media goes, it's not very...social. But you have to have a profile for all those people who hate Myspace and wouldn't know a blog if it smacked them in the face. (And can someone explain to me why a person from high school that you never talked to IN high school or since would seek you out and friend you? I have no idea either.) I hate all the notifications and applications and the superpokes and the zombie requests.....shoot me now. BUT. (You knew there was a but coming, didn't you?) I am addicted to the Pieces of Flair application. It's a real time suck and I'll spend hours quite some time looking at silly buttons and sending them on to unsuspecting friends. Here are some of my favorites:

  

 

 

 

 

I dated a guy a few years ago that I'm pretty sure was gay. He didn't know and I didn't want to think about it, becuz by date, I mean that we had a friends with benefits arrangement. Those things never work, eventually someone becomes dissatisfied with the status quo, though that person has never been me. (for my next Naked Monday, I'll tell you about the ONLY time one of those arrangements fell apart on me, but worked out better in the end than it should have) Anyway, he decided he wanted to be my boyfriend and I decided we needed to break it off. Now, of course, I realize that I probably dated him BECAUSE I suspected he was gay. Healthy, I know. ;)
Oh well, live and learn, right? This is an excerpt from a conversation with a friend about the situation last night.

Her: I TOLD you he was gay, you just got mad at me.

Me: Well, when you're sleeping with a guy, the last thing you want to hear is that he's gay!

Her: True.

Me: Thank god he decided he wanted to be my boyfriend so that I could break it off with him, otherwise I might have stayed with him even longer.

Her: Yeah, because it's perfectly ok to have sex with a guy that might be gay, but you can't very well DATE him!

Me: Exactly.

Her: There is something seriously wrong with you.

I have a Naked Monday for you today, that I have to admit, may scare some of you. The ugly truth...is that I'm a slob. I'll admit it. I am incredibly absent minded and the more stressed I get, the messier my  apartment gets. I've been pretty stressed lately. The totaled car, school starting up again, my big trip, a change in regime at work, and waiting for a new job to start has put me on edge lately and my home suffers for it. Prepare yourself, people, here is my living room.

This was taken tonight, from the vantage point of my kitchen. What you can't see to the right is the door that leads downstairs and out, to the left is the TV. That's my couch that my best friend, Dan gave me when he joined the Army. It has a slipcover to protect it from my cat, the rest of it is the ugly blue plaid of those cushions. I've always intended to make some slipcovers for the cushions to match the curtains, but haven't gotten around to it. The  curtains in the background are from IKEA. I love them and would like to paint the walls the same color as the blue stripe, the bright colors and modern print make me happy. The coffee table in front is also from IKEA. The top is decoupaged with a world map, an idea I saw on the internet somewhere. The coffee table is covered in various papers, and most of my jewelry that never made it back to the bedroom after my trip. That's my laptop on the couch, which should be on the little desk right behind it, but the only chair that I have that works with the desk is quite hard and all the time I spend with the interwebs makes it too hard on the bum. ;) I can see the phone book I was using earlier, a couple of magazines, some books and the chocolate I bought in Ghirardelli Square. Under the throw blanket on the couch are some more books, yarn and probably some mail that should be opened. Scared yet? ;) I'm off work the next two days, maybe I'll have the energy to tackle this mess...or maybe not. ;) So, here's my question for you this week....are you a neat freak? A slob? Or somewhere in between?

I am writing this on a computer terminal at the hostel and I realized yesterday that with all I have to talk about, you all are going to get so sick of hearing about it before I run out of steam. Sorry? ;)

A couple of things that are too long for twitter:

I met two women in the lobby last night looking for the People's Party. I noticed that they looked as confused as I did and asked them if they knew where they were going. We've been hanging out ever since. I haven't been to their blogs yet, but if their personalities are any indication, I will be a loyal reader from now on. I'll link to all the blogs I've discovered when I get home, cuz I've met some kickass women, and the weekend has just started.

Dana from Mamalogues was invited to an event by Nintendo and graciously offered to take me along, so that's where I'm going tonight as soon as I go to the BlogHer party to get autographs for MP. (MP, it IS people from The Closer and Saving Grace! How much do you love me right now?!)

I had a bit of a crazy moment this morning when it all just became too much, but I'm feeling much better now. The whole thing feels sort of surreal, like I shouldn't be here, like it couldn't really be ME doing all this, but it IS, which kinda blows my mind.

There's a picture of me and The Bloggess in front of some urinals floating about out there and I want a copy!!

I discovered that planes and I do not get along. Apparently my allergy/sinus issues make the pressure feeling you get when a plane is descending much worse than it should be cuz it feels like someone is shoving a sharp pencil in my ear. It's not supposed to feel like that, apparently, so my plan is to get the strongest decongestant known to man and take it monday for each flight. Keep your fingers crossed, I'd really like to avoid curling up in a fetal position in my seat this time. ;)

I'll try to stop again for a bit, but right now I want to get back outside while it's still nice. See you later!

I had another Naked Monday post up here last night and...well...I hated it. It sucked and I apologize to the 3 of you who read it since I couldn't in all conscience announce it on Twitter. This is the post I should have done all along.

Last week, I went to see Ingrid Michaelson at The Pageant on the Loop. I love the Pageant. I know many people here in St. Louis hate the venue, but I love how it feels like a club and even though the drinks are expensive, the tickets are not and if you pay with cash, they waive the fee that every concert venue charges you for nothing, as far as I can tell. I've been to several shows at the Pageant and they always put on a good show and that's the important thing. I was there with my friend A, who I met through an ex and though we aren't close, I can always count on her for a concert buddy, cause we like similar music and she's always up for a show. We had great fun as usual and she was mesmerized by the opening act. (ok, I'll admit it, his singing voice was pretty sexy and you can hear for yourself on his myspace page here For Ingrid's myspace page go here Check them out, you'll like them. well, I do and taste is of course relative, but I recommend both)

The photos aren't the point of this post, mostly because I took them with my camera phone and camera phone=suck. But just to illustrate the night, here is a pic of Ingrid who was unexpectedly funny in that at one point she yelled into the crowd, "Come on, people, let me feel you up!!!!" The story of how she discovered the Arch had stairs and a museum and a "TRAM!" was hilarious too. What made the night for me was what happened in my head while I listened to her sing.

The girl on the left is the back up singer and, don't laugh, I've always wanted to do this. There's no reason you should know this, but I can sing. Like I used to sing, in front of others, and even competed in high school. Granted, that was...many years ago, but the point is I can sing. I don't have any interest in fame and fortune, I don't want my name in lights, but I think it would be amazing to tour with a band and sing back up. Small ambitions, but ones I never did anything about. Why? Well, I never had the balls. And now I do...have the balls, er, or something. So, I started thinking and I thought, what's stopping me from trying? Nothing really, and did you know that there are bands on craigslist looking for singers? There are!! So, here's what I'm thinking...any of you St. Louis readers up for Karaoke? It's been a while since I sang for anyone but friends and I need the practice before I audition for anything at all. Sound good? Who's with me? ;)

I'm not fishing for compliments, here. I don't need you to say that you can't see the cellulite (it's there, you can tell in this one). I don't need you to tell me that I look nice in a swimsuit. If you leave a comment on this one, I'd prefer that you say that you'll go support the other women that take on this challenge. If you compliment me at all, say that you think it's brave that I did this and you admire my ability to expose myself in this way without throwing up. ;) I am comfortable enough with myself to know that the imperfections don't really matter. (Fake it 'til you make it.) The imperfections don't matter because I don't let them, I refuse to let others and what I THINK they see determine my self image. This is me. Naked. Sort of. ;)

I was reading an article yesterday on BlogHer entitled "Are You Marriage Material? Er, Do You Want to Be?" and it got me to thinking. I never really talk about relationships here, or if I do, it's in general terms. I had a silly post planned about my apartment and how much of a slob I am but all this thinking about my life had to be shared because this isn't silly Monday, it's Naked Monday, and it doesn't get any more Naked than sharing your views on love, marriage and relationships. There won't be any photos with this post, but there's lots of Naked. Whew! Okay, here we go.

When I was 21, like many 21 year old girls, I thought I would graduate from college, have some fun, get married and start a family. Bing. Bang. Boom. Married by 25, first child by 30, happily ever after. Tada! Done. It never occurred to me to wonder if this was what I really wanted, or just what I thought I was supposed to want.

I have never really felt connected to my family. I love them and they love me, but I never felt like they "got" me. I get many confused or bemused looks from just about everyone, which is fine, but it left me craving a place to be, a family of my own. I still want that, just not in the same way anymore. At the time, though, I thought that meant husband, kids, dogs and a house.

Then, when I was 27, the 9 year relationship that I thought was going to transition into marriage, ended in anger, confusion, and pain on both sides. I sort of floated about for a while, played at meaningless relationships, but I still thought I was going to get that family. In fact, I told my sister that when I had my career going, if I still hadn't met a guy who was interested in giving it to me, I would just go to a sperm bank and do it myself. (Yes. I am an idiot occasionally. Okay, more than occasionally.) (Not that there is anything wrong with this decision, but it was definitely not a good decision for ME.) Then, about a year ago, I went through another big break up, not one that I thought was going to transition into marriage, but one that was very important to me. Some other things happened that are still too painful to talk about and I ended up in therapy for a short time. I'm telling you all of this as the back story for the point of this post, which is this, I am no longer interested in marriage or children. I love children and I think marriage works very well for many people, but I do not see myself joining them.

Now, let me back up a bit and say, I make it a point to never say never. Got it? I am NOT saying that I will never get married or have children. I AM saying that it is not something I want right now and it seems less and less likely as time goes by. This is why.

My life is relatively uncomplicated. It sometimes resembles a Lifetime movie or an episode of Jerry Springer (believe me, you don't want to know) but I, myself, prefer a simple life. My personality comes into play here, too. I'm never going to be a wife in the traditional sense of the word, I don't think it's in me. I don't see anything wrong with that, either. I am supremely absent minded. I recognize that movie stereotype in myself. I get caught up in projects and deep thoughts and unimportant things like dishes and vacuuming fall by the way side. I don't do domestic. Color, design, beautiful things I can do, remembering to pay bills on time or making sure there is food in the house to eat, hell, remembering to EAT at all is too much for me. (My diet secret right there. FORGET TO EAT.) It's a constant struggle for me to keep on top of every day things like schedules and being somewhere on time. I accidentally locked my cat out on my balcony for hours. Twice! Luckily, she's used to my inattention, so other than verbally letting me have it for a good half an hour, she was fine. (Yes, she yelled at me. I have no idea what she was saying, but I think I can imagine the gist of it.) Not that I think I would ever do that with a child and I've spent lots of time caring for children and infants, but it does make me hesitate to get a dog. ;)

I'm not getting any pressure from my family to settle down and produce grandchildren. In fact, I told my Mom last Fall not to expect any grandchildren from me, that I didn't think it was going to happen any time soon, probably not at all and she was fine with it. She has one grandchild, my nephew, who is (ahem) a hand full. She told me that I should do whatever I think is best. And then I cried. (Have I mentioned lately how awesome my Mom is?)

None of these decisions have come about overnight, I've thought long and hard about it and talked, talked, talked about it with people who are close to me and every time I say it out loud, it gets a little easier to say and feels a little more right. So, what does all this nonsense mean, exactly? What do I want out of my life? I like love and being in love and hope to find that again someday. I like companionship and would like to have a roommate in the girl/boy sense of the word again someday. That's pretty much it at this point. That's all I have room for, all I'm looking for. Will that ever change? Maybe. Talk to me a few years from now, or after finding someone special and I may change my mind. Never say never, right? ;)

Today, though, this is where I am. Really Naked.

As promised, the answers to your questions...

Courtney asked:Q & A for you: How did the "naked" posts begin?

Well, I was trying to think of something that would evolve into weekly posts, something that would have a natural progression from week to week, something that would interest readers, and I'd like to say that I thought it out like the plot of a book and could clearly see where it would go but, frankly, I had no idea what I was in for. I started with body parts and intended to reveal little things about myself that blog readers don't generally learn. I never actually intended to be "naked", but I'm a tease and I knew the word would be remembered. Every monday, I try to think about a body part or neuroses that I haven't revealed and any way I can tell a story that is even remotely interesting. Recently, I started asking questions, hoping that people stopping by would participate in some way. It's been fun, and I'll keeping going as long as I can come up with things to say. I think it would be great if others would join in on their own blogs, I shouldn't be the only one getting naked. ;)


Rosey asked: Are you going to school for something? I think you mentioned something in your blog about being a student. What are you studenting to be or do?

I am an education student and have been for a really long time. I started and stopped a couple of times, but I'm actually close to graduating now from the University of Missouri-St. Louis. I'll be certified in Missouri 1st through 6th grades. I would like to teach the younger ones, 1st or 2nd grade.

Mocha asked: What's the weirdest thing you've ever experienced when sharing (or oversharing)?

I've never really had a weird experience here, so far everyone in the blogosphere has been great. I've been fortunate enough to avoid the trolls. Oversharing in my real life is pretty common, I often open my mouth and lose my brain until those around my are staring in shock. This is something I'm used to, this is why I like blogging, the ability to edit. I have never regretted sharing anything here. A perfect example of oversharing in real life though is this post. I managed to create the most uncomfortable silence ever known to mankind. Luckily, he had a sense of humor and I'm sure he won't remember this story the next time I'm there. Surely not. Right? ;)

Soooo, the road trip thing fell through, but then they announced that they had hostel rooms available less than a block away from the hotel where the conference was taking place. Whooo! I've never stayed in a hostel before, neato! So, all that was left was paying for the airfare. I was telling my friend, J, about the situation and the camera I've been trying to win on ebay, when he started to look at me funny.

"What?"

"Why don't you just use the money for the camera on airfare?"

"Um, I don't know?"

"That didn't occur to you until I said something did it?"

Oh. my. god. It didn't. Hello tunnel vision. I was determined to go to BlogHer with a better camera. So determined that I almost couldn't go. Am. IDIOT. So thanks, J, for pointing out the obvious!

So, in the next few days, I will be setting up my travel arrangements and keeping my fingers crossed that nothing crazy happens in the meantime.

(If you knew how absolutely bat shit crazy it makes me to actually pay for a vacation this far in advance you would all be giving me a giant hug. Just saying here that I'm definitely going makes me want to throw up. Yes, I really am that neurotic.)

I can't wait to see the Google searches that find this post. Hee.

I love that TV is back to normal and how great is it that Grey's and LOST are on the same night? Grey's is back to the amazing show it was at the beginning and I have a confession to make.

The kiss between the two soldiers was desperate and passionate and full of pain and fear. It felt very real, which is not the norm between actors, at least I don't think so. Also, it was HOT. Full on HAWT. ;) I bring this up, because it started me thinking about a "quirk" of my personality that can give me trouble in public, one that I often hide from others. (How many of these little quirks do I have, you ask? I'm only getting started.)


If you knew me in "real" life, you would probably know that I have a small problem watching movies with comedy based on the embarrassment of the characters. If you and I are close you would know that it goes much deeper than that. I have a hard time watching other people express emotion, whether it's in real life or on the magic box we call television. I can't watch others cry without crying. I get terribly angry at fictional injustice. But, I have the biggest problem with embarrassment. (my friend Sarah is reading this right now and nodding her head emphatically) This little quirk has grown to a full blown phobia in the last few years. What used to make me vaguely uncomfortable, now makes me almost physically ill. Yeah. am. FREAK.

I first realized that I had a problem when I would change the channel away from or fast forward through Friends when one of the characters was about to do something stupid (Joey) or feel really embarrassed because of something they had done (usually Ross). This was fine when I was alone but when I was watching with my boyfriend, it was all I could do not to snatch the remote right out of his hands. PLEASE! for the LOVE OF GAWD! Don't make me SEE this!!!! Then, one day he caught me fast forwarding and I had to confess.

I CAN'T WATCH THE EMBARRASSMENT!!! And I do mean CAN'T. Can not. Can't (getting the picture?) My heart starts to race, my face gets hot, I scrunch down in my seat and cover my face, cringing until it's over. I'd much rather fast forward or change the channel. Unfortunately, that is not really an option every time. So what do I do? I avoid. I won't see a movie in the theater that I think is full of humor brought on by embarrassment. (Dumb and Dumber, She's the Man, Forgetting Sarah Marshall) If enough people tell me how good a movie is, I'll rent it and watch BY MYSELF to save others from the crazy. I avoid sitcoms for the most part. (That's right, I've never seen The Office other than bits and pieces that made it obvious that this show is NOT FOR ME. Great for others, NOT FOR ME.)

The problem with my little "problem" is that it is so hard to explain WHY it is a problem at all. I don't KNOW why I can't watch others be embarrassed. I don't KNOW why it has gotten worse over time rather than better. I don't KNOW where it came from. I KNOW it's not logical. I KNOW it's funny to others. I UNDERSTAND why my friends make fun of me about it. It's annoying as HELL. But. It's me. That is all.

Sarah:"Did Nick Soandso friend you on facebook?" (name withheld to protect me)

Me:"I don't think so"

Sarah:"Ha! I'm cooler than you!"

Me:"Wait. Who is Nick Soandso?"

Sarah:(crickets)

Me:smacking myself in the head "Nick that I dated?"

Sarah:"Wow."

Me: "Shut up! We all know I'm a terrible person."

Sarah: "You said it, not me."

Over the last 10 weeks, you've been privy to some of the weird things about my personality that make me...uh, me. Tonight is no exception.


The following is a photo of the products I use after a shower in the same order, in the same way, every. single. day.


So, what do we have here? (And are you bored yet?) First, hair product, Biosilk silk therapy, then lotion, using a a daily moisturizer with self tanner for a subtle glow, then eye cream for the dark under eye circles (a constant battle), then face moisturizer with spf, tweezers to tame the eyebrows, and the tiny bit of makeup I wear every day; concealer (again with the under eye circles), mary kate and ashley sparkling powder to brighten the eyes and lash discovery mascara with the tiny brush. After all that, Dove Antiperspirant/Deodorant which sits on my bedside table.

Why am I sharing this utterly boring part of my day as a Naked Monday? Because to truly understand the crazy mind of Bri, you need to understand my neuroses. I am easily distracted. I need strictly regimented routine to prevent this inner dialogue, "Wait, did I wash my hair? It's wet. Did I wash it or just condition?" I always, ALWAYS check my pits before leaving the house. I don't want to talk about the number of times I've forgotten deodorant. But, if I follow a routine and use the same number of products in the same order EVERY day, I start the day ok, and not as a frazzled mess. In many things, I have to be organized so that I don't lose my mind.

Scared yet? ;)
So, that's me...Naked....at least a small part of me.

39. Yes, that's a 3 and a 9. Together. This doesn't include the box of shoes for good will. Or the flip flops. Oh, the old navy flip flops, how I love you! It's sickness, I tell you!

Here are some of my favorites:

The background is my favorite chair that a friend gave me years ago when I helped her move. I LOVE that chair. Probably more than is healthy.

So, this is me, Naked.....well at least my closet...and under the bed...and on the back of the door...and in the floor...and the car...let's just say you've seen a lot of my life in one little entry. so. sad. ;)