Thursday, May 8, 2008

I can't wait to see the Google searches that find this post. Hee.

I love that TV is back to normal and how great is it that Grey's and LOST are on the same night? Grey's is back to the amazing show it was at the beginning and I have a confession to make.

The kiss between the two soldiers was desperate and passionate and full of pain and fear. It felt very real, which is not the norm between actors, at least I don't think so. Also, it was HOT. Full on HAWT. ;) I bring this up, because it started me thinking about a "quirk" of my personality that can give me trouble in public, one that I often hide from others. (How many of these little quirks do I have, you ask? I'm only getting started.)

If you knew me in "real" life, you would probably know that I have a small problem watching movies with comedy based on the embarrassment of the characters. If you and I are close you would know that it goes much deeper than that. I have a hard time watching other people express emotion, whether it's in real life or on the magic box we call television. I can't watch others cry without crying. I get terribly angry at fictional injustice. But, I have the biggest problem with embarrassment. (my friend Sarah is reading this right now and nodding her head emphatically) This little quirk has grown to a full blown phobia in the last few years. What used to make me vaguely uncomfortable, now makes me almost physically ill. Yeah. am. FREAK.

I first realized that I had a problem when I would change the channel away from or fast forward through Friends when one of the characters was about to do something stupid (Joey) or feel really embarrassed because of something they had done (usually Ross). This was fine when I was alone but when I was watching with my boyfriend, it was all I could do not to snatch the remote right out of his hands. PLEASE! for the LOVE OF GAWD! Don't make me SEE this!!!! Then, one day he caught me fast forwarding and I had to confess.

I CAN'T WATCH THE EMBARRASSMENT!!! And I do mean CAN'T. Can not. Can't (getting the picture?) My heart starts to race, my face gets hot, I scrunch down in my seat and cover my face, cringing until it's over. I'd much rather fast forward or change the channel. Unfortunately, that is not really an option every time. So what do I do? I avoid. I won't see a movie in the theater that I think is full of humor brought on by embarrassment. (Dumb and Dumber, She's the Man, Forgetting Sarah Marshall) If enough people tell me how good a movie is, I'll rent it and watch BY MYSELF to save others from the crazy. I avoid sitcoms for the most part. (That's right, I've never seen The Office other than bits and pieces that made it obvious that this show is NOT FOR ME. Great for others, NOT FOR ME.)

The problem with my little "problem" is that it is so hard to explain WHY it is a problem at all. I don't KNOW why I can't watch others be embarrassed. I don't KNOW why it has gotten worse over time rather than better. I don't KNOW where it came from. I KNOW it's not logical. I KNOW it's funny to others. I UNDERSTAND why my friends make fun of me about it. It's annoying as HELL. But. It's me. That is all.


  1. Tempered Woman said...
    You are acutely empathic. You are not weird. Lots of people experience it to varying degrees. I'm not gonna get all freudian on you but have you ever taken an EQ test?
    For my part~ I CAN NOT listen to crank calls. I also have a physical reaction to them. I get sick to my stomach and have to change the radio station. And if I try to listen to them it will haunt me for days. Very uncomfortable situations are my vice. I can't watch the Office either. I tried. Soemtimes it is SO funny. But most of the time I HAVE to change the channel because I can't bear to watch it. My heart and head start pounding and my stomach just lurches.
    Not sure if it helps but for what it is worth...heh
    Raquita said...
    I have this issue too.. But I can watch moveis that are supposed to be slap stick but like out takes and crank calls I can onlky listen with the hubby and particular friends,I tell JErry all the time I can't watch people do something completely bone head.. just can't
    Anonymous said...
    No, if embarrassment is not your thing The Office is SO not the way to go.

    But, I have this problem too (which is why I can't watch most of the Joey-Rachel Friends episodes--cringe), though I love the Office--so maybe I've gotten over it.

    Weird mildly creepy question... were you on the channel 5 news the other night? They were interviewing people on the street about something and one person looked like your picture.

    I am not a stalker, I swear!
    MP said...
    Guess what!?!
    We are like twins.. Last night I was watching Survivor and I couldn't even WATCH the end at "tribal council" cause I new that they were going to screw poor Eric over.. I fast forwarded.

    American Idol..J and I were watching and Jason flubbed the words on Tamborine Man..and I screamed and buried my head..I couldn't watch at all..

    I am exactly like you. I cry during commericals..the Hallmark movies and I even cried at the end of Crimal Minds when JJ told her boyfriend on the phone she was pregnant. Oh yeah..when it comes to real life I end up like a bitch cause I don't want to fall apart..

    My other soulmate/twin..tempered woman hit the nail on the head too.. I cannot listen to "shock jocks" or debates on the radio..I can't even listen to the presidential debates, they make me antsy and get a "diarreha stomach"..yeah I know TMI

    So you thought you were weird..and your NOT ...or we're all weird.

    See ya Saturday :-)
    Bri said...
    You see? This is why I write on the internet, RIGHT HERE! I've never felt ashamed of this little quirk of mine, but I have struggled to explain it to others in a way that they could understand. But you all stepped right up to reassure me that I am NOT ALONE. Thanks ladies, you really are the best!
    Kendra said...
    You know, I started reading this thinking "hmm..this is unique" but..after reading the comments and thinking a bit I kinda have this problem too. Mine is with shows like American Idol - especially the auditions. Most people think its funny - I just get ill for them...especially the ones who think they are really good and have no clue (my sis was tone deaf, I know what its like).

    And, I'm also a cry-er. Some commercials have made me cry, but mainly television and movies.
    Kendra said...
    Oh yeah..and American's Funniest Home Videos - animals are fine...people, I have to turn the channel. I just can't handle it.

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