Naked Mondays # 18 The 2008 Swimsuit Brigade for Honest Photos

I was once again inspired by an article I read on blogher.com. The 2008 Swimsuit Brigade for Honest Photos is a call for photos of bloggers in swimsuits, no touch ups, no photoshop, no excuses. This, my friends, is as Naked as I've been for Naked Mondays and as Naked as I'll get. Other than cropping the photos (taken by a friend) and lightening the second one, there are no touch ups. It's all me. I usually go out of my way when clothing myself to avoid showing my cellulite and the stretch marks across my hips that I've had since a particularly quick growth spurt when I was 13. But, this swimsuit was only $10 at H&M and bought for the purpose of tanning in my friend's back yard pool. I show it to you today to illustrate a point.

I spent a large part of my teen years and 20's sure that every one was staring at me, comparing me to girls in fashion magazines, disgusted by my stretch marks and my round butt that never has been nor ever will be supermodel small. And, then, one day, I just stopped caring. Yeah, I have cellulite, yeah, I have stretch marks, and, yeah, I even have a butt. Some days, sure, I look in the mirror and am not exactly happy with what I see, but for the most part, I'm happy with my body and my skills with clothes camoflauge the parts that may need it. Here I am. In all my swimsuit....glory? ;)

I'm not fishing for compliments, here. I don't need you to say that you can't see the cellulite (it's there, you can tell in this one). I don't need you to tell me that I look nice in a swimsuit. If you leave a comment on this one, I'd prefer that you say that you'll go support the other women that take on this challenge. If you compliment me at all, say that you think it's brave that I did this and you admire my ability to expose myself in this way without throwing up. ;) I am comfortable enough with myself to know that the imperfections don't really matter. (Fake it 'til you make it.) The imperfections don't matter because I don't let them, I refuse to let others and what I THINK they see determine my self image. This is me. Naked. Sort of. ;)

Naked Mondays # 17 Allow Myself to Introduce....Myself

Mrs. Flinger has a weekly post on Mondays called Brutally Honest Monday where she asks for the honest opinions of her readers. Last week she was talking about BlogHer and she confessed that she had been offering to lick various bloggers that she loves, and she asked that we identify ourselves on our blogs in a way that makes the licking at BlogHer go much easier. (After all, we wouldn't want to just go up to a STRANGER and LICK them, would we?! Hee. Ok, enough wine and I'll be joining her, no lie.) So, I thought this would be a perfect Naked Monday for all the new readers, especially those who haven't commented yet and those who I will soon be meeting in person. You do it, too! So, without further adieu, here are some parts of me and a couple of things I will be carrying that will make me more recognizable at BlogHer!

My face...very important for the recognizing
This is without makeup and with dirty hair, so if you are staying in the hostel, this may help ;)

mah bewbs...hopefully this will be all you see of them, but Redneck Mommy is going and I can't promise anything ;)

Shoes are very important
These are for the parties

These are for being a tourist

These are comfy for the conference and the planes

This is my new laptop bag that I'll be schlepping around with me

These are my blog cards that I will be handing out, with my email and url

If you are going, too, help us visual girls out so we can find you at the conference, I want to meet everyone. And when you meet me I'll say, "Hi! I'm Bri from St. Louis, and I get Naked on my blog every Monday!"

Naked Mondays # 16 Thinking on Love and Marriage

I was reading an article yesterday on BlogHer entitled "Are You Marriage Material? Er, Do You Want to Be?" and it got me to thinking. I never really talk about relationships here, or if I do, it's in general terms. I had a silly post planned about my apartment and how much of a slob I am but all this thinking about my life had to be shared because this isn't silly Monday, it's Naked Monday, and it doesn't get any more Naked than sharing your views on love, marriage and relationships. There won't be any photos with this post, but there's lots of Naked. Whew! Okay, here we go.

When I was 21, like many 21 year old girls, I thought I would graduate from college, have some fun, get married and start a family. Bing. Bang. Boom. Married by 25, first child by 30, happily ever after. Tada! Done. It never occurred to me to wonder if this was what I really wanted, or just what I thought I was supposed to want.

I have never really felt connected to my family. I love them and they love me, but I never felt like they "got" me. I get many confused or bemused looks from just about everyone, which is fine, but it left me craving a place to be, a family of my own. I still want that, just not in the same way anymore. At the time, though, I thought that meant husband, kids, dogs and a house.

Then, when I was 27, the 9 year relationship that I thought was going to transition into marriage, ended in anger, confusion, and pain on both sides. I sort of floated about for a while, played at meaningless relationships, but I still thought I was going to get that family. In fact, I told my sister that when I had my career going, if I still hadn't met a guy who was interested in giving it to me, I would just go to a sperm bank and do it myself. (Yes. I am an idiot occasionally. Okay, more than occasionally.) (Not that there is anything wrong with this decision, but it was definitely not a good decision for ME.) Then, about a year ago, I went through another big break up, not one that I thought was going to transition into marriage, but one that was very important to me. Some other things happened that are still too painful to talk about and I ended up in therapy for a short time. I'm telling you all of this as the back story for the point of this post, which is this, I am no longer interested in marriage or children. I love children and I think marriage works very well for many people, but I do not see myself joining them.

Now, let me back up a bit and say, I make it a point to never say never. Got it? I am NOT saying that I will never get married or have children. I AM saying that it is not something I want right now and it seems less and less likely as time goes by. This is why.

My life is relatively uncomplicated. It sometimes resembles a Lifetime movie or an episode of Jerry Springer (believe me, you don't want to know) but I, myself, prefer a simple life. My personality comes into play here, too. I'm never going to be a wife in the traditional sense of the word, I don't think it's in me. I don't see anything wrong with that, either. I am supremely absent minded. I recognize that movie stereotype in myself. I get caught up in projects and deep thoughts and unimportant things like dishes and vacuuming fall by the way side. I don't do domestic. Color, design, beautiful things I can do, remembering to pay bills on time or making sure there is food in the house to eat, hell, remembering to EAT at all is too much for me. (My diet secret right there. FORGET TO EAT.) It's a constant struggle for me to keep on top of every day things like schedules and being somewhere on time. I accidentally locked my cat out on my balcony for hours. Twice! Luckily, she's used to my inattention, so other than verbally letting me have it for a good half an hour, she was fine. (Yes, she yelled at me. I have no idea what she was saying, but I think I can imagine the gist of it.) Not that I think I would ever do that with a child and I've spent lots of time caring for children and infants, but it does make me hesitate to get a dog. ;)

I'm not getting any pressure from my family to settle down and produce grandchildren. In fact, I told my Mom last Fall not to expect any grandchildren from me, that I didn't think it was going to happen any time soon, probably not at all and she was fine with it. She has one grandchild, my nephew, who is (ahem) a hand full. She told me that I should do whatever I think is best. And then I cried. (Have I mentioned lately how awesome my Mom is?)

None of these decisions have come about overnight, I've thought long and hard about it and talked, talked, talked about it with people who are close to me and every time I say it out loud, it gets a little easier to say and feels a little more right. So, what does all this nonsense mean, exactly? What do I want out of my life? I like love and being in love and hope to find that again someday. I like companionship and would like to have a roommate in the girl/boy sense of the word again someday. That's pretty much it at this point. That's all I have room for, all I'm looking for. Will that ever change? Maybe. Talk to me a few years from now, or after finding someone special and I may change my mind. Never say never, right? ;)

Today, though, this is where I am. Really Naked.

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

As promised, the answers to your questions...

Courtney asked:Q & A for you: How did the "naked" posts begin?

Well, I was trying to think of something that would evolve into weekly posts, something that would have a natural progression from week to week, something that would interest readers, and I'd like to say that I thought it out like the plot of a book and could clearly see where it would go but, frankly, I had no idea what I was in for. I started with body parts and intended to reveal little things about myself that blog readers don't generally learn. I never actually intended to be "naked", but I'm a tease and I knew the word would be remembered. Every monday, I try to think about a body part or neuroses that I haven't revealed and any way I can tell a story that is even remotely interesting. Recently, I started asking questions, hoping that people stopping by would participate in some way. It's been fun, and I'll keeping going as long as I can come up with things to say. I think it would be great if others would join in on their own blogs, I shouldn't be the only one getting naked. ;)


Rosey asked: Are you going to school for something? I think you mentioned something in your blog about being a student. What are you studenting to be or do?

I am an education student and have been for a really long time. I started and stopped a couple of times, but I'm actually close to graduating now from the University of Missouri-St. Louis. I'll be certified in Missouri 1st through 6th grades. I would like to teach the younger ones, 1st or 2nd grade.

Mocha asked: What's the weirdest thing you've ever experienced when sharing (or oversharing)?

I've never really had a weird experience here, so far everyone in the blogosphere has been great. I've been fortunate enough to avoid the trolls. Oversharing in my real life is pretty common, I often open my mouth and lose my brain until those around my are staring in shock. This is something I'm used to, this is why I like blogging, the ability to edit. I have never regretted sharing anything here. A perfect example of oversharing in real life though is this post. I managed to create the most uncomfortable silence ever known to mankind. Luckily, he had a sense of humor and I'm sure he won't remember this story the next time I'm there. Surely not. Right? ;)

When is Naked Too Naked?

I was talking to a friend last night about twitter, trying to explain what makes it so great and I said, "Here, I'll show you something I posted today." and I showed him the twitter I made about dying my hair and he looked at me, somewhat horrified and said, "And 72 people read about you dying your hair, on purpose?" And I laughed, because when you put it like that, it's sort of ridiculous, but I still like it and every time I twitter something silly I'll think of the expression on his face and remember that 72 people are reading my nonsense. The internets are awesome. ;)

As far as Naked Mondays go...this week I'm feeling sort of naked already, kind of raw and exposed which, even with all the things about myself I share with all of you, it's just too much. I'm going to take a little break, just for a day or two, until I feel like talking again. I'm fine and I'll be fine, I just can't do this today.

For fun, and to keep you occupied, if there's anything you've ever wondered about me that I haven't already shared, feel free to ask a question in the comments and when I get back, I'll answer them in a post. Love you guys, mwah!

Naked Mondays # 15 Not to Skirt the Issue, but....

It's Monday and we all know what that means! It's Naked Mondays! Whoooo! ;) Continuing on the summer theme from last week, let's talk about skirts. I love skirts, mostly because they're not pants. You may remember my issues with pants from a former Naked Monday, well this isn't a new problem and until I started my love affair with the belt, I solved it by buying lots of skirts and dresses. Did I say I love skirts? Cuz, I do.;)

Most of the skirts and dresses I buy are about knee length and a-line. Why? Both will hide a multitude of sins, big butt, thick thighs, chubby knees.... been there, done that for all of them.

This is an example of what I was saying...right at knee length, a-line, this one is a-line from the ribs...not quite baby doll, more high waisted.

(I know, I know, everyone hates baby doll, but I like them if they fit right. For some reason, they're flattering on me.) Anyway, the length hits right at the point that shows off the best part of my legs. My calves, or the part that most resembles a chicken. ;) Now, the next picture will show a skirt that may not be everyone's idea of leg happiness, but they came in to my store and my girl, K, talked me into buying one. She says if I still look like a 22 year old, there's no reason why I can't still dress like one. I figured, hell, why not, if it fits. She waited until I had decided to buy it to tell me she wished she had thick legs like me. I, of course, burst into hysterical giggles, cuz that's not how you give a girl confidence in her appearance, but she was totally serious. (sigh) So, without further adieu, me in a miniskirt.

So, there I am, Naked, at least a small part of me. (Ok, not so small, most of my height is legs, so this is, like, half of me...you get the idea.)



So, now I'm curious how many of you like skirts. How many of you wear them all the time? And guys, how do you feel about skirts? Yea or nay? Until next time, enjoy the weather! (Unless you live in St. Louis, then feel free to curse the weathermen or whatever. 60's one day then high 80's the next? Freaking weather! Gah!)

Note: I have Naked Mondays items in my cafepress store, which you can find the link to in the top, left hand corner.

New Items up at cafepress.com!

I have new items up at my cafepress store, all for Naked Mondays. I can only post one design per product, so if you want a bumper sticker or t-shirt with one of the other designs or hate blue font for some reason, please let me know, I'm a people pleaser, ya know. ;) I'll be buying a bumper sticker myself, for the look on my mother's face alone! Bwahahahaha!

Wanna Buy a T-Shirt?

The first step in my BlogHer fund is on the left side of the page...a cafepress shop. I put up my first design, tell me what you think. As I finish the designs I'm working on, I'll add them to the shop, I think I need a T-shirt for Naked Mondays, don't you? ;) If you are interested in a shirt with one of my flickr pics that isn't already up, or you're just dying for a black T, let me know. ;) Love you guys! Mwah!

Naked Mondays # 14 Bare It, Baby!

It's the unofficial start of summer and time, once again, to get Naked. Summer is my favorite season. Clothes are so much easier, just throw on a sundress and some flip flops and go. Easy peasy. We start baring bits as the weather gets warmer. A little leg, sun-kissed arms, and my favorite part, shoulders. I can honestly say I love my shoulders. I like to smell the skin on my shoulders when they're coated in sunscreen. I like the freckles that pop up as the summer passes. They're pretty and I'll spend most of the summer showing them off. I don't have any summer color, yet, and if you look closely, you can see the blue veins tracing under my skin, but here they are.

Shoulders
and my collarbone, that sticks up higher on one side than the other

close-up with the sundress I wore today

So, there I am, Naked, at least a small part of me. What is your favorite body part? What do you love showing off in summer?

Naked Mondays # 13 My Love Affair With the Belt

Yes, it's Naked Monday again. (Actually Tuesday, my long weekend put me behind, don't worry, I have lots of pictures.) This Naked Monday is brought to you today by suggestion and inspired by a conversation I had with some female family members about the current fashions in pants. Let's just put it this way, I was the only one not wearing mom jeans. Hee. So, here we go, time to get naked.

Pants do not fit me. At all. They never have and never will. That, my internet friends, is a fact. My legs are too long. My butt is too big. My waist is too short. All these things add up to difficulties making pants fit. (This is not to say that I consider these things to be flaws, well except the short waisted thing, that one annoys me.) Add to this the weight yo-yo and I own pants in 6 different sizes. 3 of which I can wear, though most of them now require a belt. So, belts have become my new best friends and one more piece of clothing that I collect.

The evidence:

Being short-waisted means that there is extra material where should not be extra material. This is highly annoying..(and not cute. ick.)

These are the best fitting jeans I have, I bought two pair

Without belt
These are new bermuda shorts. Notice how they gape in the back


All my pants do this, it's a common problem for women. You would think that they would, I don't know, SOLVE it. How hard could it be?

With belt
This is my solution, at least for now

And this would be my belt collection

So, there you go. It's me...Naked, at least a small part of me. ;)

Now that I've explained my issues with pants (though I'm pretty sure that Raquita and Heather have already heard part of this story), it's your turn. Guys or girls, what article of clothing will just NOT fit? Share and discuss.

Naked Mondays # 12 Getting Inked

This Naked Monday, I thought I would go back to where the Naked posts started. I need a little break from baring my soul and thought I would bare a bit of my body. Sorry, no naughty bits. I'm talking about tattoos today. Mine and others'. (especially if I have a photo or know where to find it) Here we go, let's get naked! First up is mine....

This is him, from the vantage point that I see him every day. And every day, he makes me smile. (yes, I think of my tattoo as a him. I don't know.)

This is my friend Dan's tattoo to honor his hometown of Chicago. He's a Bears fan. I don't know. Weirdo.

This is an old friend's arm, covered in tattoos. I took this one while sitting at Denny's one night.


This is Kelly's Daughter, Mallory's tattoo. It says "life is but a dream". There is an adorable story involved, but my favorite part is that the tattoo is in Kelly's handwriting and honors a memory that the two of them share.

Some of my favorite bloggers also have tattoos.

Click here to see Oh My Stinkin Heck's tattoo on Flickr.

Redneck Mommy is a fan of tattoos. She was kind enough to comment when I got mine.

Try searching for tattoo on Flickr...it's interesting...and a little scary. (watch out, nudity ahead..not mine! sicko.)

So, I have a question for you....do you have a tattoo? Or always wanted one? Are afraid of getting one? Discuss.

So, there I am Naked, at least a small part of me.

(and him, and him, oh, and her)

Naked Mondays #11 My Hair Over the Years

It took me forever to figure out what to talk about this week and I finally settled on my hair. Sorting through old pictures to show you was fun and I found some that I had forgotten about. Scanning, cropping, editing.....it takes a ton of time, but it was worth it in the end. We'll go chronologically beginning with this pic of me and my Dad.....

I'm not happy about the 'stache

I put this one in 'cause that expression is priceless! Still blond.



6th Grade Christmas Play
Perm!!! The blond went away after the first big cut.


Senior Pictures
Grew my hair out for 4 years here
Pretty sure sun-in was responsible for the color


Senior Prom
the first and last time I had my hair curled like a barbie doll

Yes I wore this shirt and I still own it
I can't figure out when this was...at least a year after high school


19, I think
I wrote, produced, and directed a play for 6th graders. I have no idea how I thought I could do this, who let me, and how I pulled it off.
This is darker than my natural color, I dyed it black at some point.
the curl is all me



A couple of years after high school
21? 22?
It was taken in my best friend's dorm room at Murray University


I'm sure my boyfriend at the time said some smart ass thing, because I'm threatening him with a fabric cutter. That sucker is sharp.


The shortest my hair has been..I hated this cut at the time, but I kind of like it now.


It was BRIGHT red for a while and then I bleached it. Then, it was orange. This is how I feel about it.


with professional help...the hair kind anyway
holding my nephew, Hayden
a month ago

I'm back to brown again and growing it out again...hair is...well, it grows..it changes....we shape it or it shapes us...it's hard to tell some days. ;) So there I am...Naked..at least a small part of me.

Naked Mondays # 10 My OCD Tendencies

Over the last 10 weeks, you've been privy to some of the weird things about my personality that make me...uh, me. Tonight is no exception.


The following is a photo of the products I use after a shower in the same order, in the same way, every. single. day.


So, what do we have here? (And are you bored yet?) First, hair product, Biosilk silk therapy, then lotion, using a a daily moisturizer with self tanner for a subtle glow, then eye cream for the dark under eye circles (a constant battle), then face moisturizer with spf, tweezers to tame the eyebrows, and the tiny bit of makeup I wear every day; concealer (again with the under eye circles), mary kate and ashley sparkling powder to brighten the eyes and lash discovery mascara with the tiny brush. After all that, Dove Antiperspirant/Deodorant which sits on my bedside table.

Why am I sharing this utterly boring part of my day as a Naked Monday? Because to truly understand the crazy mind of Bri, you need to understand my neuroses. I am easily distracted. I need strictly regimented routine to prevent this inner dialogue, "Wait, did I wash my hair? It's wet. Did I wash it or just condition?" I always, ALWAYS check my pits before leaving the house. I don't want to talk about the number of times I've forgotten deodorant. But, if I follow a routine and use the same number of products in the same order EVERY day, I start the day ok, and not as a frazzled mess. In many things, I have to be organized so that I don't lose my mind.

Scared yet? ;)
So, that's me...Naked....at least a small part of me.

Naked Mondays #9 You have HOW many pairs of shoes?!

39. Yes, that's a 3 and a 9. Together. This doesn't include the box of shoes for good will. Or the flip flops. Oh, the old navy flip flops, how I love you! It's sickness, I tell you!

Here are some of my favorites:

There are more, these are just the ones I found right away.

The background is my favorite chair that a friend gave me years ago when I helped her move. I LOVE that chair. Probably more than is healthy.

So, this is me, Naked.....well at least my closet...and under the bed...and on the back of the door...and in the floor...and the car...let's just say you've seen a lot of my life in one little entry. so. sad. ;)

So sorry, my computer has sprung a leak

I know I said I would have the Bossy entry up today (yesterday), but between a laptop that starts and stops randomly just to annoy me (turns out I had a virus, wheeeee!), and the most ridiculous hangover on the face of the planet, the only thing I've managed to finish is posting the photos on flickr, which now tells me I'm not a pro member(say what?).

Tomorrow there will be two posts, including a Naked Monday confessional, wait until you see how many pairs of shoes I own!

Until then, I will leave you with this little tidbit before firefox decides to freeze again...I watched The Boondock Saints tonight. Great movie if you enjoy the occasional gratuitous violence. I know a guy who has a quote from that movie tattooed on the back of his hand. All this time that I've known him, I thought I had seen that movie before. I knew of the movie, I knew what the case looked like, but after watching it tonight...not so sure that I've seen it before today. I find this really embarrassing. How did this happen? Maybe I "watched it" with friends, in that, it was on, but I wasn't really paying attention. I don't know, exactly. It's a mystery. A really boring mystery. ;)

Naked Mondays #8 Fun with Eyebrows

Yes, it's that time again...I get Naked and everyone runs in terror! Eeeeek! (Good grief, I'm a dork.)

Today we're going to talk about my eyebrows. Why you ask? Because I said so. Ha! I have very thick eyebrows which I blame on my father. His are scary and resemble caterpillars on his face. My poor brother got them too. I held him down over Christmas and went at them with some tweezers to show him how easy they are to maintain. (And how it doesn't hurt THAT bad!) Why did I feel the need to tweeze my brother's face? Because no one did it to me and THIS is what they looked like until I was 26! Why?! Why did no one tell me?!

That's me in the middle, with scary eyebrows too big for my face and a ratty sweater that I wore every-freaking-where.

This is a closer view...me with an old high school friend, Travis. He's married and if I remember correctly, has a kid. Makes me feel old. sigh.

Something else that's interesting about my eyebrows...not that any of this is interesting, but you're the one reading it...if you've gotten this far...and well, it's my blog and I'll talk about my eyebrows if I want to! (I've lost it, it's ok....deep breath...starting over.)

Anyway, I can do THIS....

It started as a defense mechanism when I was too flustered to have a smart ass reply. Now, it just happens without me being aware of it. I didn't even know that not everyone can raise only one eyebrow until someone commented on it a few years ago.

So, there you go. Me. Naked. Well, a little part of me, anyway.

Naked Mondays # 7

Yaaaay! It's Naked Monday!

Today, we are going to take a peek into my psyche. Prepare yourself, this could get messy.

Guess what I had for lunch? I went to Noodles & Company. Why does that give you a peek into my psyche? Excellent question.

I have serious issues with food. You may or may not remember my gag reflex problem, which I told you about here.
I am also an extremely picky eater. I go to great lengths to hide this from people because though I know many people are picky about food, it seems like such a childish thing and I hate admitting it. I will scan a restaurant menu for an item that needs the least amount of altering so as not to be difficult. (I've been a waitress. I know how much that sucks.) Now, it's been a long time since I ate nothing but peanut butter, but eating at a new restaurant is always nerve-wracking. What if I can't find anything to eat on the menu? What if I don't like what I ordered? I stress about this sort of thing. (You see how this is messy?)

So. I went to Noodles today so that I could try something on the menu and make sure I would be ok when MP and I meet there. I had the Wisconsin Mac and Cheese with Parmasean Crusted Chicken on top. Nummy! Noodles and me? We're good.

So, there you go. Me naked. Even if it's only my issues naked for all the world to see. ;)

For any of you disappointed in the lack of pictures needed for this Naked Monday, here's some photos I took today, that are my proof of spring......yaaaaay spring!

I had just picked up my lunch and was on my way home when I saw these trees. I just had to stop and take pictures. Pretty tree. Pretty, pretty tree, how happy I am to see you. Spring is here and I couldn't be more excited.

Naked Mondays # 6

Today is Naked Monday! And the people rejoice! Wheeeeeee!

Tonight is my belly button....not that I think my belly button is terribly interesting (in fact I know at least one person who will read this who is seriously squeeed out by belly buttons) but something that you may not know about me is that I had my belly button pierced two years ago. Even though this photo is terrible, you can see the scar the piercing left just over my belly button. There's a matching one inside. (Are you freaked out yet?) I had it for about a year before I finally got annoyed with it getting caught on my pants and took it out. I don't regret having it done, in fact, I wish I had done it many years earlier when I first had the idea. I am annoyed with the scar, but I'm sure it will go away eventually.



So, there I am, naked, at least a little part of me. ;)


Something else I wanted to share is a nail polish color that I found recently. I just lurve it, if that is possible. It's a very dark plum, which didn't show up very well in the photos. It looks very lush and sophisticated with just a touch of emo.