Under the Arch

Why yes, I did fail spectacularly at NaBloPoMo this year, thank you for asking. :)
Let's just say I haven't been home much and when I am, I haven't felt like writing. I've been cooking a lot, made a turkey pie, a pumpkin cheesecake, and my cheesy enchiladas. The grocery delivery was a rousing success, I recommend it for all the lazy out there who hate grocery shopping. They even offered to carry it up the stairs to my apartment for me, but with my curious cat, I didn't think it was a good idea. The website saves my list, so I can add things as I think of them and make an order when I have enough to make the fee worth it. Enough talking about food, I'm getting hungry. Thanks for caring enough to give me shit about it you guys, love you too. ;)

Like I said before, I was invited to a costume house party by a couple that I knew vaguely from the bar I visit occasionally. I wasn't sure that there would be anyone there that I knew at the party other than the hosts, nor did I know how big the party would be. (Would I be standing around trying to look comfortable with the fact that no one was talking to me? These are the things that I think about.) I had another engagement later that I didn't want to show up too early for, because I was, again, going alone. (Timing is everything, people! lol) Everything worked out in the end, I called just before leaving my apartment to get directions, (right down the street! Score!) the party ended up being smaller than I expected and filled with interesting people to chat with, though at one point, I thought about telling one guy that just because I expressed interest in his costume did not mean that I was flirting with him. (It's just friendly conversation dude! Chill!) But, all in all, I had a great time and I was actually bummed to leave. I made my goodbyes and thank yous and headed downtown for my next stop...which I've run out of time to write about. ;)

to be continued and stuff

I think NaBloPoMo is an excellent time to find new writers and if you are looking for funny today, I've got a couple of posts you might enjoy.

If you aren't reading Jenny, who has to be the funniest person I've ever met, you should. She is laugh out loud funny, not just lol, but funny enough to type it all out. This is just one of her posts that had me giggling hysterically, but try this and this and this one too. ;) Really, they're all funny, I promise.

Read. Enjoy. ;)

To make this post a little more substantial, here's a photo for your trouble that I took outside my apartment. ;)

My left boob is very proud. ;)

I went to my polling place this afternoon after waking up (I was at work last night until 3:30am) and managed to time my arrival just right. Though the women manning the lists told me there had been lines out to the parking lot off and on all day, I was able to walk right in and cast my vote. It's kind of silly, but I was sort of disappointed that my mp3 player, novel, and bottled drink weren't necessary. ;) I'm off to work again for another late night, but I hope everyone had as easy an experience as I did, or at least if you had to wait in line, you were as prepared. ;)

I had, quite honestly, the best Halloween in recent memory last night. I was invited to an actual costume party near my house. There are photos on my phone of the Ghostbusters, Beer Man, Michael Myers, The Queen of Hearts, and a homeless man, but I can't find the cord that makes posting those gems possible, so maybe later. ;)

In the meantime, here's a photo of my costume, which turned out just as I pictured....

Please ignore the clothes on the floor, I was in a hurry. ;) The stockings were a last minute addition, but they really made the outfit. Anyway, I had two engagements last night, which I will tell you about later, I have to go to work with a vague vodka headache right now, and I wanted to get this entry up for the first day of NaPoBloMo, National Blog Posting Month, 30 posts in 30 days. I did it last year and had fun, let me know if you're playing too, so I can friend you on the site. ;)

I'm sure we've all felt at one point or another that we are only writing for ourselves, craving some sort of feedback, a pat on the back. Everyone wants to know that if they're talking, someone's listening. Even better, when they don't have to. The internet and the blogging world are fluid and it only takes a click of the mouse to move on to something more interesting. I joined this little community on a whim and when I started, I was most worried that I didn't have enough to say. There were days when I struggled(and, boy, did I struggle), but, for the most part, it was relatively painless. I did gain some readers(yay!) and some new reads(double yay!) so, I have to say, it was a positive experience that I will be repeating next year.



As for now, I won't promise to write every day, but I can promise to write more often, and I hope you'll keep reading. Yay, I did it!

Next on the agenda? Breakfast. The three of us went to the McDonalds in mid-town and sat down inside to eat before my sister left us to go to work. Across the street is the Walgreens and there were people lined up in the parking lot for....something. After breakfast, my mom and I went back to her house to unload our finds and make room for more. Then, we met up with the rest of the girls. This is the part that makes the whole thing worth it. All gathered together, we drive to Fairview Heights, home of the closest big mall. All the available women from my mom's side of the family go together, shopping, chatting, eating...we have a great time.



There was the year that my cousin Mallory got her ears pierced for the first time. She was fine until her mom also pierced hers, and Mallory passed right out in front of Claire's. We all stared at her for a couple of long seconds and someone said, "Mallory, honey, that's not funny." We still laugh about it now, the poor kid. I've never seen anyone pass out like that, she landed flat on her back.



There was the year my mom dared me to have a mixed drink at lunch. Mallory and her friend watched me wide-eyed the whole time, to see what would happen, I guess. By the end of the lunch, I was throwing french fries at them.

I can understand why you would want to stay home on this day that brings out the crazy in many people, but tradition in my family includes bargains, chatting, and no boys allowed.

Cheers.
(Only 1 more day!!!!)

I don't have enough time to continue the black friday saga, but there is a funny thing that happened on thanksgiving that I forgot about. My little brother is 20 and like most guys, is not exactly up on the small things a guy can do to improve his appearance. I took one look at him thursday and told him that I was going to pluck his unibrow while he slept. Apparently, he took me seriously because he found a pair of tweezers and told me to knock myself out. Hee. It was awesome. At first, he was all, "This doesn't hurt." But, before long he was muttering, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" with every swipe of the tweezers. (Double hee.) I took him into the kitchen to show Mom and she was so impressed she asked me to trim his bangs. It was beauty day for Jared and he took it like a champ, only sighing pitifully once or twice. Next week, I'm gonna teach him about exfoliating.

Yes, I am one of the crazies that gets up at 3:30am the day after thanksgiving to fight the crowds for bargains. Why? I think it's fun. I know, I know. Let me explain.

I don't have any kids. Other than my parents and siblings, I don't have a list of people I HAVE to buy for. I rarely even buy anything on black friday. So, why do I do it? The thrill of the hunt.

At 4am, my mom and I were at JCPenney's when they opened. My only real purchase of the day was here. A chunky black necklace that was 50% off. But, we picked up the free mickey snowglobe for this year and some jeans for my nephew. By 4:30am I was standing in the toy dept. at Walmart, right up next to the pallet of Transformers toys that were on sale for $10. (The Walmart in my hometown is a superwalmart, open 24 hours, so you just go in and at 5am when the sale starts is the first you are allowed to touch the sale merchandise.) By 4:45am, it was getting crowded in there and I overheard a woman ask someone how this works. All wide-eyed she said,"You can't take anything until 5, when the sale starts?" (Seriously? Are you new here?) Keeping an eye on anyone who might try to edge me out of snatching distance, I silently snickered at the idiots still trying to maneuver around with a cart. (Suckers!) Most of the carts were being abandoned in the side aisles, which was going to make things difficult later. At 5am on the dot, the associates guarding the pallets gave the signal and I snatched up 4 of the Transformer 2-packs and made my way down the aisle to the tonka dump truck, snatching a pack of matchbox cars on the way. I detoured through an actual toy aisle and snagged an empty cart to deposit my booty. As I started to make my escape, a girl that I knew in high school spotted me and marveled at the amount of stuff I had already. (Yeah, I know. I Win.) Then, I met up with my mom (in charge of electronics) and my sister (charged with the task of getting the computer for $398). My sister hates this kind of thing and was appalled at the women scratching and kicking for the $5 kid's Pjs. My mom and I just looked at each other, we've been doing this for years, nothing shocks us. After Walmart, we went back to JCPenney's to get some more jeans for my nephew, with my sister this time, and then on to Bath and Body Works for the $5 Wallflowers (regular price $12.50, they make great office gift exchange gifts, and it's good to stock up). By the time we had wandered around Sears to find jeans for my brother and made it back to the car outside JCPenney's, the sun was finally up.
Whew!
to be continued.....

When I got on the train tonight, the guy sitting behind me had obviously come from the airport with his giant suitcase. Other than that initial glance, I didn't pay attention to him again until I was getting off the train at my stop. He stepped off the train too and we passed each other. For just a moment, we looked at each other and I realized he had the prettiest blue eyes I had ever seen. I wish now that I had talked to him, even if just for a moment.

My Grandmother is crazy. She's mean and she's cruel and she's not someone I've wanted anything to do with for years now. Over the last couple of years she has slowly descended into her own version of dementia, while taking my parents along for the ride. Thanksgiving was a treat, let me tell ya. My father is now terrified that this is the fate that awaits him and I fear for that too.
Thanksgiving morning, my grandfather called my dad to tell him that grandmother had taken off down the road on foot. After driving like a bat out of hell, he found her in one of the neighbor's yards with her dog sitting on the ground. (I think the high here was 36 on thursday) She refused to get up or go home, because she said my grandfather had broken her tv. (we later found out she had unplugged it for some reason) Meanwhile, one of the neighbors had called the police and an officer showed up to investigate. My dad talked her into walking back to her home with the officer by explaining to her that the officer would be able to file a report about stolen dolls. (no dolls were actually stolen, but she is convinced that the caregivers my parents hired to keep an eye on her have stolen from her)
She's been making stuff up like this for years, but now she's so far gone that she believes her own bullshit. My parents have seen a lawyer, but she's not gone enough mentally to commit her to a nursing home without her consent, which she would never give. I dread the day that she wonders into the highway and causes an accident. She's a danger to herself and others, but there's very little that can be done at this point. I don't feel sorry for her, and maybe that's a mark against me, but she has never been the sort of woman who made it comfortable to be around her or married to her son, and I deeply resent her for the pain she has caused my mother over the years. If that's not enough, my nephew is four. Last week, he came up to my sister and asked why grandmother said that his cousin Ashlin is bad. "She's not bad," he said, "Why did grandma say that?" How can you expose a child to that? The whole situation is sad and pathetic and makes me so angry.

I promise to have something more substantial tomorrow......until then, here's a photo...or two.

We're a bunch of Jeep nuts. This is me and my brother a couple of years ago. Since 2002, this past summer is the first summer we, as a family, have missed Camp Jeep. Camp Jeep is an owner celebration offered every summer by Jeep so that we can spend 3 days playing in the mud with fellow weirdos, just like us. So. fun.

This photo was taken after singing the national anthem for the eleventy-billionth time for a promotion that Jeep was doing for the National Anthem Project. We lined up our Jeeps to make an american flag and sang our little hearts out while they taped the whole thing from a helicopter.

And the finished product...Stars, Stripes and Jeeps forever. Hee. The arrow is pointing to my brother's Jeep Wrangler. So, if you ever saw this commercial, I was there, true story.

Got this link from Kendra and it cracked my ass up. It's a story of a girl, a dog, and a lot of sweet potatoes!

Tonight, I was eating some cookies that my mom made me last weekend (mmm, mom cookies!) and Angel started to give me the look. It's weird how when you have a pet, you start to be able to identify their moods and non-verbal "hints". This was not the innocent "I haven't done anything, please don't look under the bed" look, or the "I'm starving, my bowl has been empty for FIVE WHOLE MINUTES!" look, and it wasn't the panicked "I have an important meeting, and nothing to wear" look that usually procedes a mad tear about the apartment. This look was the "Look into my eyes, I will seduce you into doing my will. GIVE ME THE COOKIES!" Then she reached up to pat my cheek and smell my cookie breath. She's so funny.

These were all taken on a sailing ship that you can take from Navy Pier in Chicago. If I had the money...and well somewhere to sail, I would totally take up sailing.

This is actually a myspace survey that popped up on my bulletins, but I thought it asked some interesting questions. I'm not going to tag anyone for this, but feel free to steal it if you are looking for topics to write about during this NaBloPoMo thingy.

I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments. What is it?
1. Produce: Strawberries
2. Bakery: Bagels
3. Meat: Chicken boobs
4. Frozen: Frozen pizzas
5. Dry goods: Does wine count?

Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you. So, what's in your bag?
1. T-shirt
2. Jeans
3. Hoodie

If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what 5 phrases or words or sentences would I be most likely to hear?
1. What?
2. Thanks so much!
3. Sorry
4. Bloody Hell
5. Shut. up.

So, what 3 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you probably wouldn't be in the best mood?
1. Read
2. consuming caffeine of some sort
3. checking my myspace/email

Sweet, you just scored a whole afternoon to yourself. We're talking a 3-hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?
1. reading
2. writing
3. watching the tivo
4. sleeping, maybe
5. Thinking quietly

We're going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?
1. Penguins
2. butterfly house
3. elephants

You just scored tickets to the taping of any show that comes on TV. Of your choice. You can pick between 4, so what are you deciding between?
1. Heroes
2. Bones (wait, is David Boreanez married?yes? dammit)
3. Oprah (but only for the favorite things show)
4. Grey's Anatomy

You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?
1. gold medal ribbon
2. vanilla
3. chocolate

Somebody stole your purse/wallet…in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?
1. sony bean mp3 player
2. ID sleeve with driver's license, debit card and metro pass in it
3. pink scarf and hat
4. yellow wallet with blue heart
5. blackjack cell phone with picture of my nephew on it

You are at a job fair, and asked what areas you are interested in pursuing a career in. Let's pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted, so what 4 careers would be fun for you?
1. Travel writer
2. Book editor
3. Teaching anything
4. event or child photographer

If you could go back and talk to the old you, when you were in high school, and inform yourself of 4 things, what would you say?
1. Take some time off, you don't have to power through school like it's a race, enjoy yourself, it's gonna take you forever anyway.
2. Don't ever think "This is all I deserve", cuz there's no such thing.
3. You WILL get boobs, and they will be fabulous.
4. You will never be as skinny as you are right now, and much happier for it.

I've already told you about the Pioneer Woman and Dooce, now let me introduce you to three more amazing ladies that you may not have found yourself......

First up is Crazy Aunt Purl, the knitter, and one of the crazy cat ladies I like to visit. She started her blog after going through a nasty divorce and taking up knitting. She's a southern woman living in Los Angeles and she's just one of the most honest writers I've ever come across. She inspired me to take up knitting this winter and I made the appointment for my first lesson this friday. She has been on a tour for her first book the past couple of months, which I loved. She's hilarious, go visit, you won't be disappointed.

Next is Bitchypoo, who really IS the crazy cat lady. She fosters kittens for a local shelter and has a bunch of cats of her own, so there are always funny pictures of cats to look at, if that's your thing. (It happens to be mine.) She's also funny and sarcastic and always manages to somehow make her life seem more interesting than it probably is.

Last one for today is Wide Lawns, who lives in South Florida, and has had a truly amazing and sometimes tragic life. Crazy things seem to happen around her all the time, and she had the pleasure of meeting Crazy Aunt Purl when she came to Miami. Here, she describes it best...."Yeah I know, everyone's family is crazy. But yours doesn't need a flow chart to explain and it doesn't blend convicted felons, watermelon salesmen, Baptist missionaries and orthodox Jews. You didn't move 29 times and go to 8 different high schools and your sister isn't really your aunt. Lastly, you didn't have a monkey. I survived all of this and now I live in South Florida around a bunch of lunatics in a place where (like Hemingway said) the lawns are wide and the minds are narrow." She tells great stories, stop by and say hello.

That's all for now...see you tomorrow.

I'm going to my hometown tomorrow to hang out with my sister since it's her birthday today. I am the older one by three years, but you'd never know it to look at us. She has gotten very matronly and old since she had her son four years ago. (not that there is anything wrong with that, frankly, having a child probably saved her, she was wild and crazy in ways I have never been) But, anyway, she is now the steady, responsible one, and I am the one who dresses fashionably and doesn't have any real interest in getting married and "I can't be counted on for anything". (the despair, the despair) It's sort of hard to be in on the family politics and guilt trips when you live over an hour away, and I like it that way. NEVER, not in a million years, would I move back. Hmm, I got off track.....the purpose of this entry was to tell you that I'm writing a second entry tonight for tomorrow that can be posted by a trusted friend and you can look forward to more links to some of my favorite blogs while I'm getting a pedicure and hair cut with the girls and snuggly time with my friend's new baby. I don't know, it's been a weird day.