Under the Arch

I had a bad feeling in the middle of the afternoon, but shook it off as pms induced paranoia. When I returned home, however, there were no meows at the door that demanded attention, and no curious creature came when I called. Hello, panic.

My cat is an escape artist. She regularly demands the freedom of my balcony for the stalking of birdies and lording her magnificence over the neighbors. Though I usually keep the screen door to the balcony securely latched, I must have , in my hurry to get out the door that day, forgotten to check it, and my curious and quite fearless kitty pushed it open so that she could sun herself.

As clever as she thinks she is, returning to the safety of the apartment is not something she has mastered. (There is nothing funnier than a quiet “mew” and a lone feline leg streeeetching through the crack left by a partially open door that won’t quite open wide enough for said cat’s head.) So, I can imagine the hours stretched on as I refused to return to open the stubborn door that came between her and her food bowl, and the mounting frustration as no one came to her rescue. What I’m NOT sure of, is how she managed to get down from a second story balcony with nothing more to show for it than a scratch on her nose.

After a fruitless search of the immediate neighborhood, and questioning of two neighbors too drunk to remember the conversation later, my housemate spotted her crouched in some brush in the backyard, which I had to crawl into and drag her back out. An hour later, we were still ignoring each other, both steamed at the worry we had caused each other.

Damn cat.

Ok, I know I haven't been very forthcoming with the whole internet dating thing, but the truth is, there haven't been any crazy stories to tell. The few guys I've gone on dates with have all been perfectly nice, not a weird one in the bunch. Even the guys I've emailed have been nice and interesting. I'm telling you, there are a surprising number of guys in St. Louis looking for dates online, whether they are tired of the bar scene or just shy. I've tried to keep everything friendly until I could wrap my mind around the whole idea of dating someone again. Not because I'm afraid of getting hurt, but because it is just in my nature to sort of step back, observe, weigh and measure until I've figured out what I'd like to have happen. I've been stuck in this holding pattern of being by myself and thinking only of myself for so long, the entire life on this blog, actually. I thought of the whole match.com thing as a lark, I REALLY did not think anything would come of it. REALLY. So, I've been completely blindsided to meet someone I like, who seems to like me back. I won't say any more than that, cause I don't want to jinx it, but I just wanted y'all to know that the whole thing is going well.

I had a date tonight and came home with my head all in the clouds and went to go lay down with a book when it occurred to me that I hadn't seen my cat since I came home. Yes, I locked her out on the balcony, again. le sigh She was not pleased. ;) Here's a photo of her I took a few days ago, wearing one of those buff things they wear on Survivor.

I bought 2 Altoids tins today. I don't like Altoids. I just wanted the tins. More on that later because my cat got a whiff of the Altoid residue in the tins and went apeshit on me. I have bite marks on my hand. I finally had to grab a hold of the back of her head and flick her in the nose. She let go and acted all wounded while I shouted, "Yeah. Hurts don't it? Fucker." Cats are weird. And now my hand smells like cat spit. And Altoids.

I forgot Naked Monday! Sorry about that , I had a nasty headache and went to bed early. Naked Mondays will return next week, I promise.

I realized today that I'm going to have to eventually come up with other ways to be naked for you without exposing any naughty bits. Hmm, maybe you would like to see the hair bunnies under my bed? No? Humph! Well, I'll think of something, I guess.

Here's some updates on my life since I know that you're dying to know!

I heard from my friend Dan, he's fine and managed to survive his first few seconds in Afghanistan. (He would often tell me that the average life expectancy for his job is 9 seconds or something. Yes, he's an ass.) Since my life is often terribly boring and he promised to email updates, I'll pass along any non-sensitive information I get.

The Bunny job ended the day before Easter and I start a new one tomorrow at the same mall. I was looking for something part time so that I could start substitute teaching and one of my favorite stores was hiring. Forever 21 called me back, I had the interview monday and orientation is tomorrow. It won't be much money, but helllooo employee discount! Hopefully everything will work out, keeping my fingers crossed.

My blogging friend MP is going to Aruba (lucky bitch lol) and I offered to guest post. I'll put a little reminder over here when I do.

The spring cleaning is going well, I sorted out a ton of clothes for good will, and I'm even getting rid of shoes and books, believe it or not. I also threw out a bunch of craft stuff that I keep hanging on to and I hung up pictures! I also hung up an old window frame that I've had for years. I found it in my parents' barn, painted it and intended on hanging it on a wall, but never did. It's been in storage in three apartments, but now it's on a wall!

Some pictures I've taken recently....

Hayden, my nephew, at the Galleria a couple of weekends ago.

That's me in the bunny suit.

Angel was tired of me knitting and refused to get off this hat I was making.

The pictures I put up and the window frame that used four picture hangers to get up there.

I heard my cat in the bedroom about to lose her shit about something, and being the nosy creature that I am, I went to investigate. This is what I found......

I don't know what he was doing, but if cats could open windows, he would have been toast. Or, possibly, my cat could have been hiding under the bed, the jury's still out on that one.

Got this link from Kendra and it cracked my ass up. It's a story of a girl, a dog, and a lot of sweet potatoes!

Tonight, I was eating some cookies that my mom made me last weekend (mmm, mom cookies!) and Angel started to give me the look. It's weird how when you have a pet, you start to be able to identify their moods and non-verbal "hints". This was not the innocent "I haven't done anything, please don't look under the bed" look, or the "I'm starving, my bowl has been empty for FIVE WHOLE MINUTES!" look, and it wasn't the panicked "I have an important meeting, and nothing to wear" look that usually procedes a mad tear about the apartment. This look was the "Look into my eyes, I will seduce you into doing my will. GIVE ME THE COOKIES!" Then she reached up to pat my cheek and smell my cookie breath. She's so funny.

Here is a video of Angel playing fetch...sorry it's so dark but you get the idea.

This is what she's been doing tonight.....

The pink on her toes are called Soft Paws. They are little rubber caps for her nails that keep her from clawing me or the furniture. Best. thing. ever.

What I'm wearing: plain red t-shirt, gray terry shorts, and my grinch head slippers (yeah, I'm still in my pjs. I love sundays)

I have a cat. She's a love slut. She's not happy unless she is right up next to me, watching my every move......unless the food bowl is empty. Then she looks a little more like this....

AH HETS U. GET UP AND FILL MAH BOWL HUMAN!

...not really. Moving on.

um...I was trying to clean and do laundry this weekend in between bouts of naps brought on by the extreme heat and one social engagement saturday night. I emptied a laundry basket and within moments Angel was sitting in it staring at me, probably waiting for my next trick.

I had actually called her name to get her attention, she doesn't usually look this startled like I'd caught her doing something wrong, like trying to eat my chocolate chip cookies. "No, Angel! Chocolate is not for kitties!!!" Yeah, that's my excuse, it has nothing to do with being selfish and not wanting to share. Am I a cold hearted bitch because I can look at this face and still say no?

This is what she was doing before I got her attention...she and the dog that lives in the apartment next to us have a mutual fascination for each other. We don't share a wall, but all of the residents share a stairwell in the back of the building that opens into the backyard and goes down to the basement. So, every time Chloe and her person go outside, Chloe stops at my door and sniffs, and Angel stops what she is doing to stare wide-eyed at the door. No barking or hissing, just checking each other out several times a day. Weird-ass animals.

Angel went on one of her "late for an appointment and nothing to wear" rampages and thought it was a brilliant idea to SINK. HER. TEETH. INTO. MY. NEW. HARRY POTTER. BOOK. I am currently not speaking to her....I don't think she is feeling NEARLY enough remorse.