Under the Arch

That may seem melodramatic to some, but I found something today while sorting through some of the boxes still littering my living room (still working on that news years thing) that had a significant impact on my life.

I had to take a psychology class in high school and one lesson in that class changed the way I looked at myself. The teacher passed out large note cards with yarn strung through them and we were instructed to loop the card around our necks, with the card hanging down our backs. Then, everyone had to go around the room and write something positive on each person's card anonymously. After everyone had made it around the room, we took the cards off and read them.
For the first time, I was getting a real idea about what people saw when they looked at me. Like Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman, it really is easier to believe the bad stuff people say about you than the good stuff. But, though I know that some of the things written on my card were my fellow students just being nice, there were enough truly sincere comments on it to startle me.

I had no idea at the time that others saw me this way, frankly, at the time, I wasn't sure others saw me at all. But they did, and it really did change things for me.

I've kept this card for thirteen years and I'll continue to keep it safe because every time I look at it, I remember that shy, insecure girl who realized that she was seen by her peers for the very first time and as something more than she saw in herself.

The book I referred to in the last post is "Silent in the Grave"by Deanna Raybourn. Really enjoyed it, couldn't put it down.

The LOST post is still coming, though it won't be as long as the last one.

I applied to have BlogHer network ads on my blog. Why? Because I am poor, and struggling, frankly. If they accept me and it brings in ANY income at all, it will be welcome. I figured if I'm going to spend so much of my spare time blogging and reading blogs I might as well TRY. I'm not sure that I get enought traffic for their ads, but it couldn't hurt to apply, so I did.

I may have mentioned before that I lost my job on campus due to scheduling. The ironic part is that scheduling was a problem because I was supposed to be student teaching this semester....which has not happened. Mostly my fault, but a bureaucratic nightmare. Soo, I am only taking 3 credit hours at this point which makes financial aid an adventure. le sigh. sucks. So, I'm pretty much out of money and have none coming in any time soon. Good thing I live for a challenge. That and my parents are AWESOME. Yep, I'll admit it. I'm 30 and still need the occasional financial help of my parents. That is so embarrassing. Please don't think less of me. ;) Ok, I think I got off topic a bit.

The funny that I wanted to share was this....in desperation, I combed the craigslist job ads and I will be applying on Tuesday for the position of Easter Bunny at a local mall. lol How awesome is that? I hope I get it, cuz I'm dying to put Easter Bunny on my resume. Ha!

Also, I'm going to look into substituting, because I need to get myself out there in the education community. So, at least the next couple of months won't be a complete loss. Still, crap.

There are some other ideas floating around in my head...as a single, it makes me crazy that many of my friends refuse to go to dinner or the movies alone....and what changes I've made recently to live a little healthier and cheaper.

finally, a note:
spell check is being difficult again, I tried to edit, but spelling isn't my thing, so there will probably be mistakes. sorry.