Under the Arch

I made a little trip to the east side (Illinois for all of those following along at home) Tuesday night to meet some friends for dinner and trade cars with my parents who were about to go on a trip and needed their minivan back. After crossing the Mississippi into Illinois you have to pick a highway to follow, either I64 or I55/I70. Since my normal route to Edwardsville, IL to hang out with friends means I take the I55/I70 way, I wasn't paying as close of attention as I should have and automatically went that way, even though I needed to take I64 to Fairview Heights. (I know this is terribly boring, but there is a point to this, I promise.) Realizing immediately that I was going the wrong direction, I got off the highway at the next available exit and followed signs to get me to the right highway...which of course took me through East St. Louis (duh duh duuuuh!). Now, I'm not scerred and, frankly, I've spent time hanging out in East St. Louis back when I was living with a photographer who paid the bills working at the Casino Queen, but this was a detour I'll never forget cause what I saw there will be burned into my mind for all time and not in a good way. I was coming up on a stop sign and I could see the truck in front of me swerve to avoid hitting what looked like a woman running down the middle of the road. I was of course concerned until I got a little closer and could see her more clearly...."Oh my god, is she NAKED?!" Yep. Wearing shoes and a bright white bra and NOTHING else!! Other than making sure I didn't hit her I tried very hard not to see anything else because OH MY GOD THERE IS A NAKED WOMAN RUNNING!! RUNNING DOWN THE ROAD AND SHE IS NAKED!! AND WHAT I CAN SEE IS JIGGLING ABOUT AND MY EYES!! I have no idea what she was doing or why she was naked and I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. Whew! But Then!!!
Last night at work, a girl walked up the cash counter and asked for an application. This is a regular occurance, and I thought nothing of it until I realized that though I thought she was wearing a tube top over jeans or some other bottoms, she was in fact wearing a tube top as a dress and her bare ass cheeks were hanging out the bottom. Yes. she. DID! I watched in horror as she walked out of the store and hitched up the toddler on her hip at which point I saw entirely too much of her anatomy. I'm telling you, I'm scarred for life. FOR LIFE. She couldn't feel a draft? Did she just forget about pants, or you know, underwear? REALLY? AND THEN YOU ASK FOR AN APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT? I've seen everything now and it just boggles the mind, seriously.